Something's Gotta Give

Monday, March 12 2018, 2:31PM

Do you ever feel like every time you go to the doctor there is something else wrong or some other test they want to run? Last week I made an appointment to get a script for my insulin and the doctor noticed I hadn't had a blood test for more than 6 months, so he ordered one (#joyofbeingtype1diabetic). Today, I saw a renal specialist because my fertility specialist wanted his advice on any future treatment I may need if indeed I do get pregnant. When the fertility specialist requested that I go I was under the impression that it would be a conversation with the renal specialist and a "see you when you do get pregnant" appointment. How wrong was I??

I walked out of there with not one, not two, but three new medical tests to have done. I confess I sat in my car and cried. It wasn't that he wanted tests. It wasn't even the fact that the tests were complex and time consuming. It was that it was just another thing to add to the enormous burden I seem to be under right now, and it really made me think "how much does having a child really mean to me?" At what cost is exploring the idea of even considering a pregnancy going to come? Nothing is ever simple or easy for me, I've been warring with myself over whether it's worth it. But I always come back to the same thought: would I be able to live with a decision to not even try? I don't know whether the medical profession (for which I have the highest regard) realises the toll that all their "just in case" and "just want to see if this will give me any more information" tests take on people. At least my GP realised how many other tests I'd had and told me to do his blood test later!

Has anyone else had to have a blood test to check their thrombocytes? It's 14 vials of blood. Oh goody. Ever had to have kidneys checked? It's 3 x 24 hour urine collections and a random sample. The renal ultrasound requires you to hold a litre of water. Since my stroke I can't always guarantee prefect bladder control at all times. I try to work on strengthening my core, but when you're anxious it's anyone's guess. And you have to fast for 6 hours. 

I'm seriously considering putting my studies on hold for this semester to ease some of the pressure I've been put under. After 6 weeks of back-and-forth with the real estate to negotiate a new lease (and the plumbing disaster), combined with all the medical tests and appointments, I don't really have the emotional energy to spend on my study. Something's just got to give...

It's time to take some advice from Brian and his friends... I have to laugh or I'll just cry (again!). Always look on the bright side of life...