enableme online chat transcript: Sex after stroke

Chris Lassig
Hello everybody, the chat will start in 10 minutes so get your questions ready.
Sandra
Hi Chris
Chris Lassig
Hello Sandra!
Chris Lassig
Hi everybody and Happy Valentine's Day! We're live now with our chat on sex and relationships after stroke.
Joining us online today is Clinical Nurse Consultant and researcher Sandra Lever, as well as Lisa Mangwiro from StrokeLine.
As usual, we ask that you mention the name of the person you're replying to when you type, so that we can follow who's talking to whom.
StrokeLine
Hi everyone
Sandra
Hello everyone!
Sandra
I think it is worth saying that talking about sexuality can be very difficult as it is something that is very personal and private. This is a great opportunity though to ask any questions
Jude
Hi Sandra, is it really true that having sex won't trigger another stroke? I've heard there's evidence about this but I do wonder...
Sandra
Hi Jude, there is no evidence to suggest that having sex increases the risk of having a stroke. Having sex increases your heart rate and blood pressure as does any physical activity so it is a good idea to check with your doctor that these are all okay especially after a new stroke.
Rob Anderson
From what I have read sex won't trigger another stoke. A health centre student physio had no information about this when I first spoke about it. My wife was not it was not without risk at first....
Ahmed Khan
Hi everyone
Jude
Hi Ahmed!
Chris Lassig
Welcome to the chat, Ahmed!
Ahmed Khan
Thank you everyone just wanted to say the last chat was so useful to me
Chris Lassig
Hi Ahmed, that's great to hear.
Jude
Hi Sandra and Lisa, any tips about talking to your partner about sex after stroke? I think this is something many people find difficult anyway...
Sandra
Yes, Jude, this can be very difficult especially if you are not use to talking to your partner about sex. Communication is important in any relationship but using positive communication skills to communicate fears, feelings and desires is important and maybe practising what you want to say or role playing with someone you trust so that you get it right may help.
Sorry about the typos :)
StrokeLine
Hi Jude, I agree with Sandra, being open and honest about each of your needs is always a good place to start. You could also contact Relationships Australia, and they can put you in touch with a psychologist for specific strategies for you and your partner. Their number is 1300 364 277.
Sandra
Jude, open communication can also prevent incorrect assumptions being made too.
Chris Lassig
Hi Ahmed, it's great to have you with us again. Do you have any questions for Sandra while she's here, about this or any other topic?
Ahmed Khan
Hi Chris not at the moment
Chris Lassig
Thanks Ahmed.
Chris Lassig
It's been a very quiet chat so far today, so unless there are further questions we'll close it early.
Before we do though: Sandra, do you have any other messages on this topic you'd like to share?
Rob Anderson
Yes, it can be tough editing with only one message line to view in the window.
Chris Lassig
Hi Rob, yes it's tricky - we often paste from another program like Word or Notepad. Do you have any questions for our experts?
Sandra
Thanks Chris (and Rob). Just to sex that sexuality which includes sex, intimacy & relationships is part of being human and it has a strong link to a good quality of life so if you have questions, please don't hesitate to ask
Rob Anderson
How do you get the message through that, subject to a medical OK, that after a stroke sex won't kill you?
Sandra
Rob, are you trying to get this message through to your partner or are you wanting to feel reassured for yourself?
Rob, sex is another physical activity in the same way as any other physical activity. If the doctor has given you the okay, then it is a good idea to participate in physical activity as this can reduce your risk of another stroke. Maybe start off slowly so that all concerned can feel a bit more comfortable about it.
Rob Anderson
I'm OK now. More open conversation with the medical profession would have helped me for those first few weeks and would help others too.
Sandra
Rob, it is good to hear that you are okay now. I agree that it helps if health professionals can talk openly about this subject but if the first person you try and talk to does not help, then try again with another health professional. And hopefully, with more research happening in this area, we will be able to put in place programs that will help health professionals feel more comfortable to talk about this.
Rob Anderson
There were different recommendations about exercise from the GP, OT, ST, physio and cardiologist. And I waited 3 months to see the cardiologist uncertain about what I should do.
Sandra
Rob, I am sorry to hear this. I agree that it is not helpful when you are given different messages.
Jude
Okay so I'll admit it - when Mama joined the conversation I had a quick peek in enableme and I found a blog she just posted that is very relevant to this topic. It made me remember that a relationship really is made up of those day-to-day expressions of our love, care and enjoyment of each other. For a happy relationship, in every sense, that's a very good place to start. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Chris Lassig
Thanks Jude. For those curious, Mama's blog is here:
https://enableme.org.au/Users/Profile/My-Blogs/View-Blog?blogId=8e17cd41-55b0-40b5-b4b7-f9e34895fe2a 
Chris Lassig
And that looks like it might be a good note to end on.
Thank you to everyone who's joined us today.
Remember if you have any other questions you can call StrokeLine on 1800 787 653.