The bike ride
The scene is:
1993, Essendon Rehab Melbourne, Physio Room - which is a big open space of a couple of basketball courts, people stationed around doing their own physio with their therapists.
My physio for the day is going to involve trying to ride a bike. I am not keen to do this AT ALL. But by this stage I have surrendered to the fact that I do what is asked of me to prevent any therapist or medical professional giving me a questioning look, any hint of communication from another person that I am not trying 100%, but there is a cost to all this - because I continue to improve I get told I'm doing a so well. So I'm feeling very stuck in no man's land. And if trying to ride a bike is going to part of it - then that's what I'll do.
I shriek with unrestrained emotion as I attempt to ride that bike causing such a commotion in a public space and I am so embarrassed. The ground moves by too fast, I wobble about uncontrollably, does my emotion make people think I am enjoying this? Because I'm not at all. Because right now riding a bike is not on my priority list of things I want to do once out of here.
I may have attempted to ride a bike again - not to sure but it wasn't a good experience. Bike riding takes SO MUCH concentration, co-ordination, balance among other things. My responsibility to myself overode the desire to ride a bike.
I decided last year that I'd like to have a go at riding a bike again.
And that day arrived yesterday when I was loaned a bike. I rode and smiled to myself as I logged all the area's of riding that bike which were difficult and that I'll be bring up with my exercise physiologist. This is what long term dedicated to recovery looks like.
The healing never ends.