Making beautiful language out of suffering
Living the reality of a chronic health condition or any health condition where suddenly there is a whole other language to understand. And that language of symptoms, diagnosis, medication, treatment and recovery is full of words which can appear harsh, rigid, detached to human spirit. I felt that, I felt that harshness and hollowness as I lived through my own experience.
I watch and wonder about the people who now suddenly find themselves in the centre of this now. Trying to match the information presented to them, to their lives.
It's why I try to make my language of sickness, of loss, somehow beautiful. I think of people suffering, of burning brains and noisy hospitals with beeps and fluorescent lights. I want to wash it all away with a waterfall of compassion and healing. So I continue to think healing thoughts.
It was first a symptom.
Then a diagnosis.
Then a medical emergency.
Then a loss.
Then nothing and everything all at once.
I'm not giving what I lived through a label, because it was so enormous.
And that is what I needed to make sense of.
To put into order, so I could continue to live.