Incontinence

Hello Maureen

I am sorry to hear of your husband’s strokes, I can only imagine how challenging this has been for the two of you. It is great that you set up an account and reached out on EnableMe. I hope others with lived experience can also provide some support to you on this post.

If you would like to talk with us, feel free to give us a call on StrokeLine (Ph 1800 787 653). We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm AEDT. There may be some tips that may help, e.g., timed toileting, addressing functional incontinence, and other aspects of your husband’s personal care in relation to incontinence. Give us a call, and we can talk through in more detail.

If you prefer to email us, our email is strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au.

The Continence Line ph. 1800 33 00 66 staffed by Nurse Continence Specialists may also be a helpful number. They support people affected by incontinence and can also provide some support to you.

With kind regards,

Kath, StrokeLine

Hi Maureen, very sorry to hear about your husbands strokes. My partner also suffered a bilateral stroke with urinary incontinence and unable to walk - he also wanted to come home after 11 weeks and being in four hospitals. In the beginning he was very emotional all the time, he suffers from depression which is under control with medication now. We used Molicare incontinence pants day and night when he came home (available at any chemist). Unfortunately he felt like a baby wearing the pants and this added to his depression. I purchased bed protectors to go over the sheets incase the pants leaked, and toileted him a few times through the night aswell (you get very little sleep and accidents still occur). We did regular toileting through the day and gradually were able to do away with the pants during the day, then at night aswell. We still use the bed protector at night for his peace of mind - he doesn't need it but he sleeps better if it's on the bed. It took time but now he has regained bladder control and he is loving it. If you make it a goal it will give him incentive to work towards, these things take time. Get help if you feel you need it, it's an emotional rollercoaster your both on. Best wishes to both of you. Robyn

Màire McGabhann

When my mum came home after months and months of rehab (aged 52 now 81) the depression and anxiety kicked in. She couldn't sleep as she was anxious she'd have another stroke during the night. She couldn't have had a more devoted husband but his sleep was also ruined. Mum had little speech and swear words were not uncommon (which was very out of character). Because speech was affected, friends and family stopped visiting as she was hard to understand and came across as abrupt or annoyed when trying to be visible and heard in conversations. Very very challenging. Good luck and all the best.

Tammie Cowell

Is it possible to get community care?? Maybe see if the hospital can organise for some help at home. You could also be eligible for NDIS ( ask the hospital to speak to a support worker)

Meredith Burke

Hospital is the best place at the moment. I hope he is getting rehabilitation for speach and swollowing. The crying is common after a stroke. Support him from a distance and encourage him to do his rehab as rehab is his tool for more function. I understand its a very emotional time and "what the hell is happenig" moment. Please understand stroke is not one of those illnesses where "sick in hospital then home ok". I cannot stress how important rehabilitation is for your you and your husbands future quality of life. Please take care

Jo Mooney

Maureen

Well done to you for reaching out on this platform, you will get support and real experiences that will help.

I had a stroke 6 years ago with mini strokes to follow, 2 stints of rehab and a recent fall, I’m only sharing my story to help you understand that you can get through this.I’m still very emotional yet I don’t cry as much. I can honestly tell you it will get better. Please guide your hubby to stay in hospital - it’s the best place for him at the moment and less stressful for you both.

I’m sending lots of strength and patience to you and your husband.