Becoming a dad for the first time

By Nathan

I had a stroke about four and a half years ago, after a workplace accident when I was working in the Royal Australian Air Force.

It was May 2017, and a 65-kilogram aircraft camera slipped and hit me on the neck, causing a carotid artery dissection.

I was treated at the scene, and later at a local hospital, but it looked like the worst of it was a lacerated ear and headache. I suffered some slurred speech and a facial drop whilst waiting in the emergency department, but this resolved spontaneously.

My ear was patched up and I was discharged home. Later that night I suffered a stroke, which left me with severe left-sided paralysis.

In the years following, my rehabilitation became a full-time job for my wife, Kerrie, and I, but that did not stop us starting our own family. In September 2020, three years after my stroke, our son Arthur was born.

Arthur and Nathan on Father's Day 2021

Kerrie and I had always wanted to start a family and, for a while after my stroke, we questioned if we ever would.

So, when Kerrie fell pregnant with Arthur, I was very concerned about not being an able-bodied father. I was worried that my deficits would have an impact on Arthur's life. Would he be teased at school? Would he ask, why is my dad not like other dads? It still worries me somewhat, but we’re getting on with life as a family.

My other concern was that I wouldn’t be able to be the hands-on dad that I wanted to be. I am improving, but I still have some left-sided paralysis. Still, we’re finding ways around many of the limitations, and I love being Arthur’s Dad.

In the beginning, taking on basic baby care one-handed was tough. Some things I found a way around, like feeding Arthur, but other tasks not. Now Arthur is a toddler, and keeping up with him can be challenging, but I have discovered a backpack leash is invaluable when dealing with an energetic and highly mobile one and a half year old.

Arthur on his Trike. Nathan can push him with one hand.

Fatherhood has taught me some valuable lessons. I have learned that the resilience built over the course of your stroke recovery will be equally challenged by fatherhood, but the outcome is worth it. Being able to accept and then adapt to what you're facing is paramount and the value of family is immense.

At the end of the day, I have the son I wasn't sure I ever would and the love of an incredible wife who has stuck by me through the tumultuous last five years. I am one lucky man.

Nathan and Arthur sitting on a rug together in the garden