In the knowing

To a certain extend I wonder if they in the medical cohort don't just throw everything at us and scare us . In the beginning, because I refused to admit it was a stroke I did pushed myself too much but now in the long term I see knowledge almost as a disadvantage.

It was not wise to refuse the reality no doubts, but I was not scared of adventuring and trying. Now because 2 hospitalisations with pneumonia they have scared the hell out of me and I am more conscious of my limitations but it has a strong counter effects psychologically. I am really struggling to go eat out, go out driving even short distances. Doing things alone seems senseless in case something happens to me as if I was a porcelain object , so now I am regressing somehow. There is always ups and downs in life and there is only me with my specific condition that can evaluate where I stand in my progression to recovery.