We chat to young survivor Sue Bowden

In the May edition of the enableme newsletter we have interviewed the fabulous Sue about her stroke and her recovery. Sue had a stroke at 22 years old two weeks after experiencing pre-eclampsia during her first pregnancy which resulted in the still birth of the young couples first baby, Chelsea.

Sue says she likes “stories shared about living through any life adversity - particularly those involving brain injury, grief and recovery always seeking messages of honesty from the writer.

I respect peoples efforts to make a difference to their or others worlds by their input on support sites such as enableme”.

Tell us a bit about yourself.

I am a 46 years old, I am married with three children aged, and their ages are 20, 18 and 15. We have lived in Bathurst, NSW for the last 17 years and have made this town our home after moving from country Victoria.

I have worked for the past 8 and a half years in the Community Services Industry after studying Diploma Of Welfare at TAFE once our youngest daughter started primary school. I love working with people from all types of backgrounds.

Raising our family whilst juggling work for my husband and I has been our priority since moving to Bathurst. Now that our children are becoming more independent I have a little more time to pursue my own interests and passions.

I enjoy participating in a local small Community Choir – getting together with this soul choir to belt out tunes from past decades!

I get to our gym as often as I am able to or walking our dog for exercise. I like to read – I read mostly non-fiction books involving stories of people’s lives – factual writing which inspires and moves me.

I am still involved in running our youngest daughter around to her sporting commitments.

I enjoy getting together with friends to see local theatre productions, movies or the odd coffee.

And my most recent experience I have begun is to attend our local toast masters club.

This about sums me up. I have worked hard over the years since my stroke to regain my identity which I have felt was somewhat battered and bruised from the loss and grief of my experience.

What are some of your stroke recovery achievements?

Where to start with this question! When I think of what I couldn’t do – from talking, walking, eating – and one major achievement when being so young and private was becoming continent again. My goodness – the stress and embarrassment of wetting and soiling the bed in the early days – I don’t take any of my personal abilities for granted.

To be able to smile again, how distressing it was to look into a mirror and see my drooping face with little expression or spark. It was all taken away so suddenly from me.

My achievement of having our three children after our stroke has been shared with my husband. To have him by my side as I determinedly pursued our dream for a family against many doubters and disbelievers has been a major achievement.

We are still married and it has sometimes not always been smooth sailing at all!

I have run my own family day care business for two years, and I have successfully completed my Diploma of Welfare at TAFE.

I have worked for the last 8 and half years with homeless youth, vulnerable and disadvantaged families and most recently children and families in the ‘out of home care system’. I am very passionate about the service our organisation provides to our community. I love working with people from all types of backgrounds.

Another achievement which is a personal one for people – is a sense of belonging. The loss I felt of not knowing who I was, where I belonged with my new battles post stroke was overwhelming and something which I found hard work on a daily basis.

What is important to you since your stroke?

An appreciation of the little things in life, to be able to rejoice at a sunrise or spending time with our kids. To be able to walk up and down steps!

It is important to me to keep on learning and challenging myself – whether it be in my work place or socially.

Respecting other people’s journeys when faced with life adversity is something I do when I source inspiration from a shared story.

It’s important to me that we raise our children to be broad minded and non -judgmental of others.

It’s important to me that our children live their own dreams.

Keeping myself well and having self-awareness of my vulnerabilities even though I have had many gains since my stroke, and loss of our baby is something I am paying more attention to recently.

What do you want to tell other survivors?

I want to tell other survivors who have shared their stories that I respect what they have shared and survived. To be kind to themselves. To celebrate small achievements and to know that there are good and bad days.

To have medical treatment from people who they trust and feel listen to their concerns. To search for the right people if they feel their current medical treatment is not working for them.

To know that other survivors will to put their stories out there to help others.

To seek support from those who understand and to educate themselves on everything they feel they need to about their stroke.

To not give up!

What do you want to tell carers and families?

That the person in front of them now needs a lot of love!

That even though that person may not be able to communicate they may still have an awareness that isn’t able to be seen by the carer.

To still be themselves and not be all consumed by their loved ones recovery journey if this is possible.

To educate themselves on what has happened without taking over from their loved one’s recovery. Walking beside in all sense of the saying, not in front or behind as their loved one recovers.

To seek support from carer network as caring is challenging and exhausting – there is much grief for the carer too.

How has enableme helped you?

Being someone who survived their stroke many years ago and being in an isolated rural town for my recovery. I have spent many years confused about my recovery as I forged ahead with my life after our loss of our baby and the life that I had prior to my stroke.

When I stumbled across enableme as I waited in a hospital waiting room in December 2015, feeling alone with my worries I became very excited at the thought that this support site was available for survivors and carers.

I felt an immense relief that the ability to connect with other survivors had come so far and that it may help others not to experience the intense aloneness I had once felt during my recovery even though I knew in reality I was not alone.

I have made some helpful connections as I have explored this site and totally respect the courage people have to post about themselves.

I have been reminded that self-care no matter at what stage of recovery is still important.