Recovering my "wild

So it's been almost 6 months since my last blog entry. It has been incredibly challenging to find any time for myself, let alone anything else. Things have come to a head on a number of fronts, and I know I have to stop and start to change things again. A friend of mine recommended that I read the book 'Untamed' by Glennon Doyle, and while I haven't made much progress with it, I have realised that I have given up my 'wild'. I spend too much time stressing over what I can't change or fix and not enough time enjoying life. I need to stop giving my power away and believing that I'm not good enough. The phrase "I can't" has become a regular in my vocabulary, both my internal voice and my external voice. So just like the "Little Engine That Could" I need to change my internal voice to say "I think I can" and pull that train up the hill. Actually, reading stories to Ollie, there are a few stories that have some excellent messages for me.

Giraffe's Can't Dance: We can all dance when we find the music that we love.

Mister Dog: Crispian's Crispin was the dog that belonged to himself, did just as he pleased, had everything in it's place and went to bed content.

The Snail and the Whale: all we need do is ask and someone will help, even if you are little, you can make a difference.

So I'm trying to recover my 'wild' and find the child who wasn't afraid to be herself. I guess the process really started with leaving my job and starting my library degree. It was what I dreamed of being as a child, to live in a world surrounded by and filled with many other worlds and lives that I could dip in and out of.

Being stuck in "ISO" has it's benefits and also it's challenges and opportunities. I can stay home on weekends and work on me, my family and the way we want our life to be without having to rush hither and thither after everyone else. Although I do worry how I am going to ease myself back into the 'real world' without having anxiety attacks. But that's a thought for another day.

Right now I'm just concentrating on finding my wild.