Four years post stroke - no depression, just happiness

Hi everyone.

I posted a short blog last week about depression, seen as it was World Health Day and their focus this year is on depression. Here is a much longer blog so sit down with your cuppa (or wine/beer if you prefer) and enjoy this one.

As Easter beckons and I move towards my four year 'stroke anniversary' on Easter Saturday, I still pinch myself to think how far removed I am from being depressed. My life really is wonderful at last and I could not wish for anything better. I still shock myself to think how I have turned my life around from being a Private Investigator, with a busy brain, to a desperate, depressed stroke survivor and now a successful author, Stroke Safe Ambassador and passionate stroke advocate.

I still suffer from daily fatigue, both physical and mental, I still struggle to count and many silly little things but I am here on Gods earth and making the most of each day.

I suffered from post stroke depression following my stroke in April 2013. I thought I was doing OK and I was never going to get depressed! I did write a poem about post stroke depression which is lengthy but so many have read it and it makes them feel OK. They resonate with the words, and the knowledge that they are not the only ones having to endure such emotions, makes them feel much more resilient and 'normal'.

Many stroke survivors become depressed and letting out your feelings is hugely important. I dealt with my depression through medication and through writing my poetry. Here is a poem I wrote entitled 'I wish I had wings' which captured many days when I felt I just did not wish to deal with being here. It is a little sad, but what is important is that I moved forward. Read the poem in the knowledge that was almost four years ago and now I am deliriously happy.

Do you feel like that sometimes, often or hopefully never?

If the answer is 'yes' to the first two options, then you need to reach out for support as without admitting you need help and allowing others into your life, you will not get better. The following are my personal tips for beating depression. These worked for me and I hope that they work for you too...

1) Accept help - I was extremely fortunate to have the full support of the Stroke Foundation who assisted me to get through the bad times and listened to my issues and provided great advice. They also provided a DVD about depression for myself and my family, so they could cope and understand my negative emotions. My sister was close at hand and friends took time to help me through the sad times.

2) Find support on line. I was recommended a number of closed Facebook groups that concentrated on the ups and downs of stroke. There were certain people within this group who helped me enormously and we chatted often about our feelings. Knowing others had suffered exactly the same emotional roller coaster of stroke recovery was enormously helpful to me. They spoke from their heart and were so knowledgeable and gave me great advice. I continue with these groups to this day and many have become very close friends.

3) If being on line is not 'your thing', perhaps find a local stroke group. I live in Queensland on the Sunshine Coast and the wonderful Chris Kay started the Young Queensland Stroke Support Group. and we get together every two months or so and chat about anything and everything. Contact the Stroke Foundation and find out if there is one in your area. It is SO good to talk to others about how you feel.

4) Seek medical advice where appropriate and yes, I was prescribed medication. At first I resisted medication but if you have a broken leg, you get that fixed with a cast don't you? The medication levelled my serotonin in my brain and made me less depressed. It didn't make my life full of happiness but it was a start.

5) Find a way of expressing your feelings other than talking to loved ones or a counsellor. I expressed my negative emotions through poetry. I wrote down my feelings on paper which really helped me get them out of my head. I published some of these on the stroke Facebook groups and knowing I was not alone in how I felt was a huge relief. The positive response from my poetry was overwhelming and it motivated me to publish my book, A Stroke of Poetry in 2015. This gave me a purpose in life and helped me battle through the negatives as I once again began to see positives. Knowing my poetry was (and still is) helping people, is a tremendous feeling and warms my heart!

6) Exercise was also a key for me. I was generally fit pre stroke, which is why I made a quicker recovery than most. Exercise and fitness now play a key part in my life and since 2014, I have held a very positive focus about everything I do. I accept that I am able bodied but if you can't run, climb mountains or cycle or move easily, think of something in your life that you CAN do and focus on that. "What you focus on, grows" so if you awake each morning will the intention it is going to be a rubbish day..guess what? It will be! Forget your 'old life' as I call mine and embrace your new one. Yes, it will have lots of ups and downs but it's the only one you have so make the best of it!

7) Take baby steps. You don't have to feel fabulous immediately and it is likely that you won't. Give it a chance and although patience is a virtue very few of us have, it certainly is required as a stroke survivor! Have the belief that you WILL get there, no matter how long it takes.

I hope that you found some of this useful and if you want to hop over to A Stroke of Poetry Facebook page, I regularly post motivational quotes and poetry. Keep up to date with whats going and check out my book special until 30 April 2017.

Further enquiries to my email: astrokeofpoetry@gmail.com and I shall leave you with a quote. Have a wonderful Easter.

Stay healthy and happy always.

Much love

Shelagh