Emotions

Hello Elaine

It is great that you have reached out on EnableMe and I am sure there will be others who have experienced similar feelings who will share their thoughts with you.

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. Feeling overwhelmed can be really challenging, and as you say , make it difficult to do all the things you need to do after a stroke.  You mention your emotions are troubling you. Feeling emotional or having changes to your emotions after a stroke can also be really difficult to manage. Changes in emotions are common after stroke. You might feel that your emotional responses don’t seem to make much sense or are out of proportion. Some people find that they cry or laugh uncontrollably and when not relevant to what is happening around you. It can be helpful to work out what might be causing your emotional response. This might include being fatigued, feeling stressed, feeling anxious or if you are in a loud or busy environment.  Sometimes it can help to walk away, or use a relaxation exercise to help distract you from what you are experiencing. We would be happy to talk to you over the phone about other strategies that might help.

Have you reached out to talk with anyone about how you are feeling? Sometimes it can be helpful to talk with your GP or a psychologist. If you haven’t already, you could talk with your GP about a Mental Health Treatment Plan which would entitle you to up to 20 sessions of psychology or counselling at a Medicare Rebated rate. A psychologist can help you manage your feelings, and help develop strategies to help you work out your priorities.  Sometimes having someone help you to prioritise and plan your activities can make it easier to focus on what is important to you.

You are right, there is a lot to be aware of after a stroke, and exercise and rehab can certainly be difficult to manage, especially if you are feeling fatigued.  Stroke can also affect your thinking skills or cognition. This can include problems with orientation, short term memory and attention. Problem solving, planning, sequencing, judgement, and insight can also be affected.  Being tired, emotional, or stressed can also make it harder to think clearly.

 Have you considered developing up a schedule for each day and prioritising the things you need to do each day (exercise, daily activities). You can then write this out on a timetable perhaps and put it up on your fridge or wall, so you can focus on achieving each of the tasks set up throughout the day. Someone like an Occupational Therapist can perhaps help with working out what are the important things you need to do each day, and then help you develop a  timetable for you. Getting some support to help with motivation, fatigue and setting up a plan for your days can be helpful. You can speak with your Gp about a chronic conditions management treatment plan for a referral to an Occupational Therapist.  If you are eligible, you can access five sessions of allied health therapy such as Occupational Therapy at a Medicare rebated rate.   An Occupational Therapist (or OT) can help to manage changes in thinking or attention.  

We are more than happy to talk with you over the phone, and you can call us on Ph. 1800 787 653, or email us if that is best for you on strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au. We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

I hope this is of some help to you, Do reach out if you'd like more support.

Warm regards

Siobhan (StrokeLine)

Elaine. I have too have problems handling emotions since I had a stroke 3 years ago. One perceived off word can feel like a dagger stabbed in the middle of my back and leave me emotionally  trembling. It has a physical effect too. Sometimes I have to have a chiropractor make a spinal adjustment as a result.  It can take for a while for the body/nervous system to settle down and during that time  it really affects my motivation to do anything. Any one else affected like this? Tony

Hi Elaine, here are some more advice from the stroke community for you.

Terri 

After my stroke I felt like that my friend said to me how do you eat an elephant I said what she said in small bites in other words don’t get overwhelmed take your time to process small tasks and you will cope better she was very right don’t let tasks that you used to do without a thought get to you be kind and take things one small bite at a time worked for me good luck to you kindest terri

Ness

I found that if I made myself a list of things I used to do in a day pre-stroke that I always felt overwhelmed. I learnt fairly quickly that I’m not the same person I was pre-stroke and adjusted my life accordingly. Take a deep breath, be kind to yourself and do what you can do today and pick it up again tomorrow. I still have really emotional days sometimes for no apparent reason. Listen to what your body and mind is telling you and if you aren’t finding the motivation then maybe today is not the day to do that particular thing. I wish you all the best ahead. x

Paul

Indeed the emotions can be overwhelming, to the point where we may feel that we have little control. But, for me, l had to learn to give myself permission to be messy, to allow space for my emotions to be expressed. With time the rawness of it all starts to mellow, or maybe the ability to ride through the waves of the emotions start to improve. If you have the need to wail, howl at the moon, weep uncontrollably, then do so, as l believe it is all part of the long healing process. There are so many layers (physical, mental and emotional) to experiencing a stroke and post stroke life, so feeling overwhelmed is to be expected. We are all human, fragile creatures, our emotions help us navigate our way through.

Julie 

Eat really well, turn the news off and watch something calm but amusing (The Durrels, The Detectorist, etc), talk to other stroke survivors, see a psychologist, be kind to yourself oxo

Letisha 

Hi Elaine, give yourself time to adjust and try not to be hard on yourself by thinking you “should be doing this or that”. It may take your body and mind some time to accept, heal and recover- this looks different for everybody.

You can help your confidence and emotions around self worth just by doing one small thing each day. Start small, with one thing and go from there as your energy allows.

Shazia 

Just be yourself, yell when you want, scream when you want. You don’t need to justify people who can’t understand, be with people who understand without you expressing your feelings and that’s the REAL people. You have less energy and can’t use all your energy explaining people. You owe your life and mental PEACE. Stroke takes all our energy away, ongoing pain and fatigue doesn’t leave us and it’s a constant battle to live a life

Elisha 

Don't feel defeated when you can't do everything you set out to, there is always tomorrow, I feel that's the beauty of being a survivor. Try not to let negative thinking be a part of your day, it's okay to achieve nothing but deep breathing and greatfullness in a day, having a shower and doing one small task at home is a huge achievement on the down days. Good luck in your recovery and cut yourself some slack, it's not easy but it definitely becomes easier over time.

Kelley 

Every task is a uphill battle, break each task down into little stepping stones as much as you can. Have as many breaks in between as you need. Even if you don’t complete the whole task celebrate the steps stones it’s all progress. You will get their in the end. Be kind too yourself, every step done is progress, even the simplest things become huge mountains. Don’t give up! Keep at it.

Debbie 

Everybody’s stroke journey is different. Don’t expect too much of yourself to start with. Celebrate every little victory. Take your time and be kind to yourself. I found that if I allowed one messy room I could cope better. Ps it’s been 8 years since my stroke and that room is still a bit messy. I did have to see a psychologist for awhile to help adjust to this new me. My mantra became….Focus on what I could do and not what I couldn’t do. I’m doing relatively good these days. Even feel normal on some days but still have the odd bad day to remind me that I’ve had a stroke. I hope that all of these comments from so many help you in some way. You are not alone.

Arna 

After my stroke, motivation was hard. I have a diary (page to a day) on my kitchen bench. Each day has a task on it, be it tidy up, dishes, vacuum etc. I find if I break everything down into smaller tasks, more gets done. I can’t work anymore so all I do is sit at home and watch tv or sleep. I try to do my tasks before lunch and relax in the afternoon as a reward. It takes a bit to get into a routine, but you do get there.

Perry 

Before my stroke I was an emotionally toughened older construction worker, able to contain what I thought and felt. After my stroke it was like I had magnified empathy and feelings I had no control over and I would cry about something even in a crowded shopping centre, but I was determined to eventually get off the antidepressants the doctor had me on. It takes time, be kind to yourself. It's true what Stroke Survivors say. You are a different person, but it doesn't mean for the worse.

Kat 

Before I Get out of bed, I make my plans for the day. I'm not at the point where I feel comfortable doing spur ofd the moment activities (ie. Going somewhere)