Stroke-a-versary #5

Today is my 5th stroke-a-versary. It's been a tough 48 hours with medical tests yesterday and then a harrowing drive into Sydney with all the roadworks, to support my husband sitting exams for uni. But today was a little better, a lovely morning exploring bookshops and having tea and cake with my sister.

As I look back at my journey over the last five years, life has had it's ups and downs, but I'm still here, and that's what's important. And whatever the journey brings over the coming years I know I'll face it and come out on top.

I always have mixed emotions in the lead up to my stroke-a-versary. On the one hand I remember all the missed signs, misdiagnoses, and the trauma involved with having a stroke, seeing my family and friends upset and anxious for me, worrying about what will happen in the future and what will become of me, facing hurdle after hurdle without any relief in sight. But on the other hand I also remember that I am strong, that I faced all that beset me (and is still besetting me) and I did everything with a positive attitude and a smile. I learnt to walk again, I learned to communicate, to read and write, even learned to play the piano again (badly, but I still try!) and taught myself to crochet.

I'm my own worst enemy sometimes, thinking I "should" be doing this or that, I forget that I am climbing a mountain - and if you only look down or at the slope ahead - all you'll see is the struggle. I need to remember to stop and look at the progress I've made coming up, how far I've come, and take a moment to stop and enjoy the magnificence of the view. Enjoy the journey, because when you get to the end, it all stops, we can't go back and take another picture or wish we had have done something when the chance arose. There is a wise Buddhist saying that roads are for journeys, not destinations. We have to enjoy the process, the journey, and learn to live (and love) with the path we have been given. We are so focussed on getting somewhere we loose the enjoyment of travelling.

There are many motivational videos and people out there, but I really love Tim Minchin's speech "Don't die unhappy". Do the little things that bring you joy, and enjoy this incredible ride. I plan to...