EnableMe | enableme - stroke recovery and support

I often feel like asking the question "should I know this?". My sister was telling me about levels of knowing:

the known known (I know that I know)

the known unknown (I know that I don't know)

the unknown unknown (I don't know that I don't know)

I feel like there should be a fourth category for those of us with a brain injury:

the known unknown unknown (I know that I don't know, but I don't know what it is I don't know)

I go through this phase quite often. I know that there is something I don't know. But for the life of me, I can't pin down what it is I don't know. It's like there is a huge chasm in my brain. Have you seen the children's movie Inside Out? There is a huge chasm where all the memories you don't need anymore go and disappear. I know I need to connect with the other side of the chasm, but as David Lloyd George said: you can't cross an abyss in two small jumps.

Studying has really brought this to the fore for me, I am surrounded by other students who seem to instinctively know what they need to know. But I often feel like I'm missing something. I do okay, I pass the subjects, on the practical tasks I do really well (I even managed a distinction on one assignment), but when it comes to purely theory-based tasks, I feel like there is something I'm not quite getting. Being a distance course I can't just rock up to the lecturer's office and ask to have it explained. And it's not the kind of thing you can put online in the discussion forum either. They expect you to know.

So I struggle on, assignment is due tomorrow at midnight, I am entitled to special provisions, but I don't want this assignment hanging over me over Christmas. I do the worst case scenario in my head: what is the worst thing that could happen? I fail the subject. Is that the end of the world? No. Will it kill or seriously maim you? No. Will you survive this? Yes. Go for a walk, meditate, calm down. Begin again. I still feel like I should know this. (Yes, I used a "should" statement...)

Katrina, I think it is great that you are studying. As for the 'knowing' - I am reading a book at the moment entitled "What we Cannot Know," by Marcus du Sautoy. It is really challenging my brain - it did that prior to my stroke but more so since! I spent 14 years at Uni completing a B.A, Hons, and MPhil - that was pre-stroke - and I often felt like you do post stroke. I am not academically gifted but I was determined to achieve each of the three goals, that is how I know you will do okay . . . because you truly desire to achieve.

Hi Kat ,

Such a good discussion and yes I get what you are questioning.

All the possibilities of an outcome make the choice before us so overwhelming . So which way do you go ?

What will that mean ?

So many questions and unknowns.

Keep searching for your own truths Kat!!

And Rod , that book sounds interesting I will add it to my reading list 😊😊

💞. Sue

Thanks for the encouragement ladies, only 500 words to go! Just under 12 hours left to submit it, I'm taking a totally different approach to this semester, so far I haven't had any major meltdowns over this assignment. And then I can have four wonderful days of no study before I have to get back on with it!