We have each others backs
Jenny and Marcus
Peer relationships can be an important aspect of a good recovery after stroke. Talking with someone who gets what you are going through can be a salve on both your mind and your heart.
Jenny Hellyer and Marcus Burgess have shared how their newfound friendship has helped them both heal.
Both Jenny and Marcus have a love of Muay Thai and are competitors in the sport. Marcus was a referee at one of Jenny’s matches eight months before her stroke.
They didn’t know then this meeting would be so important to them later.
After Jenny’s recent stroke she posted on a Facebook stroke forum, and Marcus saw it. He recognised her and reached out to see if he could help.
Jenny says, “We kept in contact throughout my hospital stay and planned to meet up once I had my cardiology appointment for my PFO in the Gold Coast. I live in Northern NSW.
There are a lot of similarities in our experiences. I felt like I met someone who really ‘got it’ and understood 100 per cent of what I was going through. We bonded over the impacts we had from our strokes, dealing with invisible disabilities, PFO, and the impact the stroke and separation from family had on our kids.
I don’t underestimate for a minute the impact of having someone to talk to, so early on, has had on my recovery.”
Marcus had his stroke in 2020 and he thought that he had recovered well. But his focus had been on his physical recovery and on his son Benji’s well-being. It turns out that he still had some emotional healing to do. By helping Jenny, he has also helped himself.
He says, “Our meeting up was originally to help Jenny, but it turned out to be much, much more. I didn't really realise I hadn't had a personal face-to-face meeting with another survivor of a stroke. I found being able to open up and talk about my own story was the start of an emotional journey that I didn't know I needed.
Bonding with people who have had a stroke is vital to recovery. The connection and understanding are very special, and I found it helps the psychological healing process.
As Jenny says, we understand what each other has and is going through.
Marcus says, “Getting back to Muay Thai was something I desperately needed. I have been involved in the sport for the best part of 30 years, to be able to start doing it again was something I needed to feel I was getting back to who I was. To help Jenny do the same thing was special for me, as I know how important this sport is for her too.”
Jenny says, “It's been a key goal as the stroke impacted my neuro-muscular pathways. Coming from a hugely athletic background getting back to Muay Thai and surfing, gives me snippets of my old self. I can escape my day to day living with the cognitive impacts of my strokes and I find it provides me with so much joy and determination to keep going.”