“Not to Yield”, a diary of a stroke, a story of hope, by Peter Hocking
“Not to Yield”, a diary of a stroke, a story of hope, by Peter Hocking
A WRITER'S TALE
People ask me when I began my book; the answer is, ten days after my stroke.
The book started life as my diary which I commenced soon after I transferred from hospital to rehabilitation. In the rehabilitation service there was a patient lounge with a couple of desktop computers. My stroke left me with right side weakness and consequently useless right-hand so it was an electronic diary, a keyboard being easier on my unaccustomed left hand than writing.
The diary turned out a great idea and one I can recommend. Stroke recovery tends to be frustratingly slow, so it is often hard to appreciate progress. To have a record of how bad things were helped me to benchmark how far I had progressed – more often than not, further than I realised.
Thus did that first terrible year unfold with highs and lows. Discharge from hospital, readmission to hospital (with a blocked artery), outpatient rehab in a state of exhaustion due to fatigue, getting my leg fitted for a permanent leg brace, buying a wheelchair (not positive), optimism at little achievements alternating with despair at the immensity of the long road back.
My recovery was more encouraging in the second year. This included resuming driving, reduced dependency and improved walking ability. I continued to document it all in my diary.
In my third year post-stroke, I began to think beyond rehab and exercise and to wonder how I could use my experience in a positive way. The idea of refining my diary, into a written account to help “fit” people understand what a stroke involves, and to help and maybe give hope to carers and my fellow survivors began to take shape.
First, I needed a structure. Should I begin with an introduction, a “who am I and why am I writing this”? This seemed logical at first but eventually I decided it would be more effective if I dived straight into my story with no preamble.
The bulk of the narrative is in chronological order, but I found it difficult to know when to stop, when to end the story. With a stroke there is no real end to the journey, no point (unfortunately) where you can say; “I am cured”. I decided to end the narrative during the fourth year when I chalked up some significant achievements and hope was rekindled.
My achievements included a full year walking without a leg brace; a year back regularly at gym; and my leg beginning to feel like my leg again, not some foreign leg grafted onto my body.
During my rehabilitation I came across a poem by the great English poet Alfred Lord Tennyson which really resonated with me and my new life. The poem is “Ulysses” and is about aging and the challenges it imposes. It became a comfort and my inspiration. It gave me my title for the book, “Not To Yield” and the last verse became the perfect way to end it.
Now I “just” had to get it printed. I found a printer through a friend who had had a book published, My computer skills were quite inadequate so eventually I found a lady who does small publishing jobs and whose daughter is a design artist. They put my draft in order, integrated my photos with text and designed the cover. It seemed to take forever, much to-ing and fro-ing, and proof reading, but it all came together at last. In December 2018 I took delivery of the final copies. This was another incredibly proud achievement. The book captures my highs and lows, but ultimately serves as a reminder of just how far I’ve come.
To find out more about ‘Not to Yield” email me directly at peterandlily@bigpond.com.
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PaulPaul Stroke Foundation New South WalesThursday, January 24 2019
thank you,a wonderful gift to illuminate such a fine poem.
come. my friends,
'T is not too late to seek a newer world,
push off,and sitting well in order smite
the sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
to sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die...
a wonderful photograph, can I ask are you in Thailand?
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by Peter Hocking
Friday, January 25 2019
Good guess. Beach at Koh Samui last June