40 years old and I've had a stroke

CoreyP
CoreyPon Tuesday, December 18 2018
6 Comments

Hi peeps

My name is Corey I am 40 and recently I suffered a stroke. I spent 3 days in hospital, I lost half of my visual field which returned after 2 days of treatment with blood thinning infusion. I have been home 24 hours now and I already notice a huge difference in my mood. I already suffer with depression however I feel it is at a whole new level. Is this normal. I feel like i want to cry, yell in anger, i feel like i dont want anyone near me. Im not an angry person by nature yet i feel fed up with everyone for no reason.

 

Any advice would be appreciated 

6 Responses
JP avatar
JP

Hi Corey, like you I spent 3 days in hospital after my stroke in September 2018 however unlike you, I am not 40 but 68. It takes time for your body to resolve what has happened to you. Good diet, exercise, a positive oulook and a sense of gratitude for still being alive go a long way. It's easy to say that I know. Fatigue and vulnerability are common issues for stroke survivors. Vulnerability is a particular issue which can bring to the surface the emotions you have mentioned. In the past few months I have gained great benefit from listening to some of the podcasts on the EnableMe website. There is some very useful information in them. All the best.

john

StrokeLine avatar
StrokeLine

Hi Corey,

 

Welcome to enableme. It is great that you have reached out here. We are sorry to hear about your recent stroke.

 

The first few days and weeks after a stroke can be a particularly overwhelming and challenging time. It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions as well as strong emotions such as anger, following a stroke. These changes can become easier to manage over time with the right treatment and support. A good starting point for more information are our resource pages on emotions and personality changes. We also have a podcast on emotional and personality changes and depression and anxiety. There is a conversation on our forum with tips on how to manage emotional lability and Synapse also have some good tips here.

 

We also suggest you book an appointment to speak with your GP about your emotions and mood. They can discuss treatment options and support. Did you have a psychologist or psychiatrist from before the stroke? If so, contacting them for a review might be helpful. If not, your GP may suggest a referral and write up a mental health care plan to enable you to access a number of Medicare subsidised sessions.

 

We are also here to support you if you’re able to call us on StrokeLine on 1800 787 653. StrokeLine is staffed by qualified health professionals and available 9am-5pm Monday to Friday. Please note we will be closed from 5pm on Friday 21 and reopen on Wednesday 2 January at 9am. If you require crisis support at any time please call LifeLine on 13 11 14.

 

There are stroke survivors in our community who have been where you are and will also have some good advice to offer you.

 

Best wishes,

 

Simone (StrokeLine)

Beth avatar
Beth

Hi Corey 

Just wanted to let you know your not alone, I’m 43 and had a TIA in September last year although not full blown stroke I found it hard to come to terms with, I lost vision in my right eye, felt dizzy and left arm felt funny, luckily it only lasted for 5-10 mins, though felt a lot longer. I didn’t even go to doctors till 2 days later as thought it wasn’t nothing to worry about, so was a shock when doc then said I think you had a TIA, I even had to ask what she meant as never heard of it, when she said mini stroke I just looked at her dumbfounded and didn’t believe her, it still hadn’t sunk in after I had been to TIA clinic. Like you I felt very emotional, angry one minute, crying the next and still in disbelief that I had one, although I got told TIA symptoms would go  away straight away I noticed I started to stutter too but thankful that disappeared by 6 weeks later, it’s been 4 months now since I had mine now but still some days I get emotional, especially when people treat me like I need bubble wrap. Like I said I know what happened to you is worse than what happened to me but it will get better and if you ever need to talk send me a message, take each day as it comes it’s still early days, take care beth

Carly avatar
Carly

Hi Corey, hang in there - as cliche as that sounds! It will get better. I had a stroke last June at 40. It was a complete shock and I felt my world was turned upside down. It’s seven months now and I have made major progress. The body is amazing and you will see this over the coming months. Have faith in your body even though you may feel like it has let you down. I was hospitalised for 7 days and it took weeks for doctors to agree on what happened. I had a hole in my heart called a PFO and with no other obvious cause, it was decided this was the likely source. I had it closed and that has helped with the healing process and anxiety. Stroke recovery can seem like you go forward and then backwards. At three months I started to feel better and was back to doing a lot of normal things. It was too much. My physical deficits were gone by 12 weeks but the cognitive deficits, fatigue and emotional liability continued. Take it very slow. I started an antidepressant and it has helped a lot. Sleep as much as you need and eat well. I am now back to working part time. Don’t need to rest everyday (yay!). I experience minor issues with loud noises and bright lights when tired. I have speech difficulties sometimes when I’m fatigued but you know what - I’m happy not to talk a lot these days! I still get scared and worried about it happening again but this is becoming less and less. What I see now is so much more joy in my life and family. I am incredibly grateful to be here. Time heals so much. Take care 

Diana avatar
Diana

Hi Corey,

Here are some comments from Stroke Foundation Facebook too

Karen Bayly Hey Corey. Sorry to hear about your experience. Yes this is normal for many people after stroke. As well as talking to your doctor, there's great resources for you and your loved ones about depression and mood on the Stroke Foundation's enableme website. It's possible that grieving is part of the mix too. I found this article useful. http://www.tbiguide.com/emotionalstages.html
 
 
 
Corrine McLennan Hi Corey, I’m 43 and had a stroke Boxing Day, I’m still trying to figure it all out. I’m sad, angry, frustrated, full of anxiety and fatigued. 
The best I can suggest so far is listen to your body, if you need to rest then rest, cry if you need to and most of all try be kind to yourself. 
You’ve made the first step by reaching out here and well done! Your GP/ psychologist/ OT will be also very valuable. 
Hang in there and I really hope your recovery is kind to you and you’re back on your feet in no time 🙂
 
Jamie Robert Hurst Mate remember it is a marathon not a sprint 
We’ve all been there 
Head up and keep punching
 
Leigh Hardidge Hi Corey you are not alone feel free to share get help with the depression and anxiety ASAP it will help your recovery
 
Carole Williams All good advice Corey. Sending hugs❤️❤️❤️❤️
 
Shannon Nelson It’s natural cry after such a life altering event. I was 45 when I had my stroke 8 months ago. I got a mental health plan from my GP. It really helped.
 
Nev Henderson Things will improve Corey. Don’t rush it, you will need to embrace the new you when he settles in. The negative changes are frustrating at first but you learn to recognise triggers and how to deal with different situations. The positive changes however are incredibly liberating and exciting. Find a local support group and chat with other stroke survivors, it really does help. You are not alone. 💪🏼
 
 
Catherine Griffiths Nev, how did you find a support group? I’d love to find one
 
Nev Henderson Catherine I found one by accident talking to a customer who also had a stroke. He was in a support group and put me in the loop. I am very busy and miss meetings but talking about it is the best.
 
Stroke Foundation Catherine Griffiths please call StrokeLine to find out about local stroke support groups 1800 787 653 - Diana
 
Jodie-Anne Walker Hi ive got 2 small dogs.. as i have 2 limit my interaction with people n crowds etc.. it will get easier when r up 2 it research what works 4 u.u will come up with yr own tool kit . Some things work for some not all. Stay strong. I find certain music. Laughing
 
Sherrin Dishon Unfortunately it's part of having a stroke. Your brain has been through trauma. It changed my behaviour for a number of years and Dr don't tell you that. Be kind to yourself. It's a terrible thing to cope with.
 
 
 
Michael Axford Hi Corey.. do you cry at no apparent reason. Just the slightest emotion will set you off.
If so, you are not alone. 
Your brain has had a bit of a shock and will take time to heal. I had the same problem but it will settle down.let your mind wander to the best time that you remember. Or get back into your favourite hobby. I hope this helps.
 
 
 
Sabrina Hutchinson Hi Corey I am 18 months post stroke and I felt the same as you are describing initially but with time, reflection and taking on mindfulness and exercise- swimming every day I am now feeling much better. I have recently been through a rough patch and had to change jobs due to discrimination as I was considered disabled in the workplace but my mindfulness really helped. I have just completed a strength and balance class and can now walk up and down a set of stairs without falling , little wins can have an amazing affect on your mood and result in a more positiveness. Things will get better a good cry or scream can also help. Take care of yourself inbox me any time if you need to talk best wishes Sabrina Hutchinson
 
Sue Bowden Hi Corey,
As you can see by everyones responses, you are in good company !! I'm sorry you had your stroke, however as a long term survivor who had no connections back in the day I am so pleased to see how everyone has responded to your call out. ☺☺ Power to you.
 
Willow Ramsey Hi Corey, I'm coming up to my 11th anniversary of my stroke at the age of 32. I have anxiety and depression and cry (or laugh) at strange time. My moods swing a lot more than pre stroke and you get used to it. It's a new kind of normal for us. Staying positive will go a long way to your recovery. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Reach out to a neuropsychologist if you are feeling that you need to talk to someone.
 
 
 
Nicholas Martin Hi Corey. I am a 5 time stroke survivor and went through exactly the same. It gets better don't be afraid to ask for help and don't bottle it up good luck with your recovery
 
Pauline Taylor Hi Corey.....I’m nearly 5 years post stroke. Caused by a birth defect in my left cerebellum. I was 52 when it occurred.

I too have been left with impairments, the major being my loss of balance. 

Depression is definitely very normal! It’s a terrible time. 
Trying to come to terms with the loss and accepting the new you. Unfortunately it’s a very long , slow process that only those who have experienced it can fully understand. Even now I feel extremely frustrated as I am intelligent, have a degree, but people don’t see passed your disabilities. Maybe it’s me, but I’m sure they assume you are not quite with it!

Rant over!

I would definitely recommend taking antidepressants. I thought all those that suffered stroke were automatically prescribed them? It’s a means of helping acceptance at a frustrating time.

Stay positive, it does get better but you can’t rush it. Little by little things will return. I have recently started to dream again! Something I haven’t done for years! 

Focus on you and your recovery. Set aside things that are a negativity. YOU are important one!

Stay strong...there is light at the end of the tunnel 😁
 
Barbara Wolfenden Too frequently psychosocial support is not offered to young stroke survivors, however I suggest you approach your GP and request a referral to a psychologist or neuropsychologist. Don’t leave it untreated. The sooner you can treat it, the sooner you can learn to manage it and feel a bit better. Good luck. Don’t take no for an answer. Hopefully one day ongoing psychosocial support will be offered to young stroke survivors as a matter of course.
 
Shelagh Brennand The emotional side of stroke affects everyone in different ways and post stroke depression is such a bummer but it happens. I got through it by:
.Reaching out for support
.Learning to focus on what I COULD do…
Accepting that I couldn’t go back to my old life
.Writing poetry to help explain my feelings (find a way to talk/write about how you feel)

Here’s a poem I wrote about PSD if it helps those around you understand. 

Good luck and keep us posted 🙂

It WILL get better 

Shelagh 
http://www.astrokeofpoetry.com/post-stroke-depression/
 
 
 
 
Shelagh Brennand Brenda Booth it affects us all in so many ways but it’s HOW we get through that’s the most important.
 
Brenda Booth Shelagh Brennand years before my stroke I had previously had a post viral depression after Dengue Fever. I was so not wanting to go there after my stroke, my ability to walk was not affected and fortunately lots of walking worked for me. You are so right, everyone is different and what works is also different. Corey I wish you the very best in your recovery.
 
 
Charlotte Munro Get some help and make a commitment to keep asking for help and accessing it. My dad died by suicide after a stroke - for the sake of everyone who cares about you do NOT let it get that bad.
 
Jane Hamilton Hi Corey. I had a stroke in October at age 41 and have persistent left upper quadrantanopia which hasn’t resolved. I’m learning to live with it. Initially I felt tired and emotional all the time. This has improved over time and I’m sure it will for you. Please pm me if you want to ask anything. 👍🏻
 
Sue Mahony Best wishes Corey, I had a brain stem stroke 2012. I still have anxiety and depression not as bad, my doctor put me on antidepressants.
 
 
Paul Burns I'm 9 months in after I blew my head gasket. Thing that helped me was to find a new mission in life. Even if I can't do anything about it right now. You want to yell? Then yell. As long as it's not hurting anyone else or yourself, have at it. It getsit out and it gets easier, and you do adapt. That's not to say it's not a galloping $h1t-$h0w. If you have a stubborn streak, embrace it and don't let it beat you. It is a tough ask when depressed though. I got through it via physical outlets and talking to pragmatic people who are supportive, but had no problems calling me on it when I was being self indulgent. Good luck man. This community is a good one and they all genuinely wish you well in my experience. Don't be afraid to chat your stuff through with someone that knows what they are doing. You are not the first and you won't be the last. 👍💪
 
 
Kim Jackson Hello Corey. It may be appropriate to gently welcome you back to the planet. Things may feel pretty awful / overwhelming / confusing / difficult right now, but some encouraging words .... Never underestimate the possibility of success. Salut.
 
Maggie Munarin Hi Corey, know exactly how your feeling. I had a stroke 6 months ago. I never suffered depression previously but since the stroke I now do and also get angry, suffer anxiety and upset easily. Everyone I have spoken to say it will get better and to be kind to yourself. The fatigue is the hardest for me as I was a very active person. I hold on to the hope that with time things will get better. Wish you well as you recover.
 
 
Leanne Brooker So sorry to hear maggie , thoughts are with you all.💖 xx
 
 
Terry Fenner Dogive up Corey. What you are going through is normal and will eventually pass. Keep strong and safe
 
Donna Gillespie Hi Corey, I’ve suffered 3 strokes now and it’s a hard journey, try to not let the small things bother you, and having a positive attitude helps..
My kids noticed a huge change in my personality and I have anger issues, but learning how to manage that does take time.. you need to find your happy place when it gets tough so you can sit and breath..
Good luck with your journey mate, best wishes 😊
 
Jo Slocombe Corey, hang in there. Not only has your brain suffered a huge shock and needs to rest and adjust, so have you. I struggled with all sorts of anger and frustration and confusion and trauma (I was 42). It gets better, and so will you. Don't hesitate in seeking help, living well after stroke is about building new strategies. All the best, keep swimming Nemo x
 
 
 
Joe Costoso Good info Jo, its all about new strategies, and working with your new capabilities .
 
 
Mieke Howe One day at a time Corey, it feels lonely right now, but it will get better. It’s been nearly five years since my stroke, and it’s been a challenging time, but keep fit, enjoy each day, and it does get better. Best of luck and be kind to yourself.
 
 
 
Neil Augustine time....
Image may contain: people sitting, text and indoor
 
Lee McKenna I also walk a lot excercise helps
 
 
 
Lee McKenna Hi I’m a stroke survivor too I hav made the decision to be happy and positive. Some days are harder than others but one day at a time and celebrate every achievement no matter how small and know your not alone which country do you live
 
 
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Toni Arfaras
Toni Arfaras Hi Corey, your feelings are so valid so allow yourself to feel what you're feeling and talk to your GP/neuro/ medical team/ family about helping you to find a psychologist or neuro-psyche. Enableme (one of the Stroke Foundation's websites) 
 
Joanna Solomou Just hang in there. It’s a long road but eventually it works out
1
 
 
Rodney Campbell The shortness of temper never leaves but you learn how to to manage it over time you're love ones will understand thankfully mine did stay strong champion its just life, no one's fault shit happens
 
Emma A Warner Sorry to hear your story. If you can access a neuropsychologist or psychologist experienced in treating stroke survivors, they can help. 
Best wishes
 
Suzana Vasic Its a world of sadness after stroke😔
1
 
 
Grant Tempini Mate it is an emotional roller coaster stay positive and focus on your health and well being, you have the rest of your life ahead of you and I'm sure you have friends and family to talk to
 
Tracy Anne Ward My hubby was depressed after his stroke. Your brain has been damaged and all of the chemistry is out of whack. You will find a lot of people post Stroke will have some form of mood help. I think the condition is called emotional lability- my hubby used to cry at the drop of a hat. 5 years later he still gets teary if he is proud of our kids 😊 Just keep going, be gentle on yourself and never ever give up x
 
Lorraine Nixon Hi Corey , sorry to hear your struggle I had a stroke just over 2 years ago I know how depressed you can get hard for people to understand I felt that way you want to do things just as before , het to your doctor and sure they will help you , all the best .
 
Bree Robertson I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety of it happening again. 
I spoke to someone which helped.
 
Robyn M Rouvray I had panic attacks after mine. Sought help and slowly got back feeling OK. Take care. Talking helps.
 
Lyn Hamblin Corey as part of my acute care plan I was helped a lot by a psychologist. I never thought I would need that sort of help. The first year was the hardest but once I accepted my new normal I was able to have a new outlook on life. Good luck and please take care
 
Judy Russell-Rawlings Depression is a big part post stroke . Hoping you get past this . Not easy .
 
 
 
Graeme Marshall Mate just think about improving do whats required in terms of rehab. and keep on punching.all the best.
 
 
Craigb avatar
Craigb

Hi Corey.... at this point, no point in saying you are not alone! I just wanted to say that for me that anger thing got better fairly quickly - but with fatigue and everything, I find it best to accept that it all moves at its own pace and i feel better being kind to myself and take one day at a time - getting angry with myself or the situation just 'feeds the monster' and with fatigue, pushing myself just extends the fatigue like a hangover. And i'm 55, so still a bit older but as an extremely fit and healthy person (except for an unknown hole in my heart that has since been sealed up) its still a huge shock - for me and everyone that knows me. I'm extremely calm easy going person, so grateful to be alive after the size of my stroke and grateful to have rapidly made full physical recovery.... and yet, I found myself snapping at people that love me and had been so supportive. I remember the first time I just thought 'what the hell was that' and felt ashamed of myself, but i talked it through with my wife. Then about a week or so later a friend i hadn't seen for many years and currently interstate, heard what happened through the grapevine and called me. He had a stroke and the biggest message he wanted to tell me was about this anger thing and it was great to hear that because then i could forgive myself and since then found myself when I felt it to eg. say to my wife "I'm feeling that anger thing so i'm going to walk away and come back in a little while and talk that thing through" - and she got it, and it worked and now i just don't feel it. I'm trying to remember now the triggers, but I think it was when a situation wasn't going my way or how i wanted it to, something like that - and i guess the channels of the brain with all the really bad uncontrollable things that happen it just triggers something. So I am no expert in any way and others - maybe your doctor - will describe the mechanics - I'm just trying to explain what i felt in case that helps - we are all different and i should say that I have never had anxiety and now have a hugely better appreciation of what that means and never had depression, but my wife has so i do understand, but since the stroke was warned about depression but I just haven't had any - I just feel so lucky to be alive and able to enjoy live and my family and my 12 and 14yo kids. But that's just me.

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