Anxiety and brain functioning

Hi Katrina

Thank you for reaching out on EnableMe, it sounds as if has been a really tough time for you, especially over the last year or so.  Anxiety post stroke can be debilitating and given you have other stressful issues impacting on you as well, it is not unusual that you are feeling overwhelmed.

You mention additional psychological help, are you seeing a psychologist currently? We do know that a combination of mediation and psychological intervention can help with anxiety.  All the strategies that you mentioned can also be helpful but we certainly understand how challenging it can be to implement these in the midst of a busy and stressful time.  Have you tried any of the mindfulness apps? These can be used at the beginning or end of the day when you are in bed, so not taking up other time during a busy day. They can also be used at different times throughout the day to help you be in the moment and be able to focus on the present moment to allow you time to just breathe.  You might consider ones such as Calm, or Smiling Mind, Headspace, or Simply Being.  These are possible options, as you do need to find something that you connect with, and feel comfortable using.

In regard to your work, has your HR department been involved? Bullying and Harassment should never be tolerated by your work environment and hopefully you have received some support. This is never an easy situation to be experiencing and do hope there has been some support for you and your team. Does your work have an Employee Assistance Program? The EAP can be helpful for short term counselling.

Given the fact your request for respite for your son was declined by the NDIS, have you been linked in with a specialist or team for you son to provide a formal diagnosis of his autism? If so, maybe you could consider a second opinion and seek another specialist who can assist with formalising the diagnosis to increase your son’s options for NDIS support.  You are always welcome to seek a second opinion and we would highly recommend this as an option.

Do you have other family or friends who can assist you with some of the regular daily tasks when you are finding it difficult to manage these. Perhaps talking with friends or family about a roster of support with tasks such as making and dropping off meals, picking up healthy frozen meals for you so that you need only heat them up, supporting you with some of the housework to enable you to focus on assisting with your son’s therapy, or assisting with other tasks that take time and focus when you are needing to rest. A roster so that friends and family know what tasks might help you that can be implemented when you need the extra support might be of some help.

This might already be something that you are using, but have you thought about developing a regular routine for the busy times like morning and evening? Perhaps starting with 5-10 minutes of mindfulness or meditation for you, then ticking off the tasks you need to complete with your son, like heating meals, getting dressed, therapy time.  We often talk with people who experience fatigue about pacing, planning and prioritising. This can help with managing fatigue and the impacts this can have , as you describe on your function and thinking.  Make sure you are spreading out the activities you have to do each day and factoring in breaks throughout your days.  Planning is thinking about what you need to do each day and making sure you don’t group too many similar activities together, eg spread out meal preparation or out of the house activities for you and your son. It can also help in thinking about which activities make you feel more or less fatigued or exhausted.  Prioritising can also help with making decisions about what can wait and what you need to do each day. Having a structured routine and ticking off activities might help you and your son focus on what you need to get done each day.  An Occupational Therapist can also help with fatigue management and energy conservations, so perhaps consider making an appointment with an Occupational Therapist for some guidance and support.  We can help you to find one in your local area and talk through options of where to seek one and costs associated with this.

The NDIS can be a complex process to navigate, as you know from supporting your son in his accessing the NDIS and finding the best support for him.  Stroke survivors can certainly access the NDIS with the support of your medical specialists and allied health team (if you have one). There are certain criteria that the NDIA require but it would be worth you talking with a Local Area Coordinator about your eligibility and requirements for the NDIS. We can help you to find your closest Local Area Coordinator if you would like to get in touch with us here at StrokeLine.  we would also be happy to talk with you more about the NDIS and what you will need to apply.

It would also be good to talk with you in more detail about what you are going through and how else we can support you. Do give us a call on Ph 1800 787 653, or email us on strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au. We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

Kind regards

Siobhan (StrokeLine)

Hi Katrina

I also have anxiety and know what a struggle it is.  I had it before my TIA but found it greatly increased after it.  I was fortunate in that it was a TIA and not a stroke but it was a life changing experience and impacted my health and anxiety levels.

I understand your struggles too around having a child with autism.  I have an adult son with autism and the NDIS has made such a difference to our lives.  He has support workers who have helped him so much. I hope you can get support for your son but also for yourself.

There are some books and an app that helped me a lot.  DARE the new way to end anxiety and stop panic attacks by Barry McDonagh has been a lifesaver for me.  There is also a DARE app.  Also books by Claire Weekes are very good.  She was way ahead of her time but her books are still in print and offer great insight into anxiety.

I hope things go well for you.  You sound like an amazing mum trying to do so much for your son and others.  I really hope and pray the road gets easier.  

Hi Siobhan,

Thanks for your reply, it's a challenging one to address right now. I do have a regular psychologist, and I did use the EAP to get a couple of extra sessions when I couldn't get into my own psychologist. My school principal and assistant principal have been very supportive of the work situation, and I'm hoping that will all calm down going into a new term.

With regards to my son, I have sought a new paediatrician out who has a specialty in ASD, so fingers crossed we get a diagnosis in the coming months. He is attending speech therapy and OT, and I'm juggling working full-time with taking him to appointments, my husband and my parents are helping out, and taking him to some appointments (my principal is again very supportive in this area). I think part of my problem is definitely around planning and fatigue, and I know anxiety exacerbates my fatigue. I am seeing my GP shortly, so I'll ask if he can sort out a care plan so I can access an OT and I'll give StokeLine a call for some help with this. I started using the Calm App last year (last year was a bad one too at work), I find it really helpful, and I use it with my son as well - we love the sleep stories. 

I know I put myself last, and worry about my needs later, but it's become very obvious that I need to address some of my needs so I can better help my family.

Thanks again,

Katrina

Hi Katrina,

Thanks for letting me know what you have tried in the past. It would be very challenging at the moment with all that is going on for you and your son.

Finding a paediatrician who specialises in ASD is a really strong step to getting a formalised diagnosis for your son, so this is really great to hear.

I'm pleased that you will talk to your GP re an OT referral, they can be really helpful in regards to energy conservation and fatigue management strategies. We here at StrokeLine would also be happy to talk you through some additional ways of managing your fatigue, or you can have a look at a variety of hints and hacks by other members of the EnableMe community through I-Rebound here. There are some wonderful tips here that might be helpful.

It is good to hear that you are focusing more on what you need to be strong and healthy, you are right, it will help your family as well. It is so important to be kind to yourself and reach out for support.

Do give us a call here at StrokeLine on Ph 1800 787 653, or email us on strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au. We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm AEST.

Kind regards

Siobhan (StrokeLine)