The goal that i didnt know was a goal

Nina Wilde
Nina Wildeon Sunday, September 18 2016
6 Comments

 I haven't had a coffee for nearly two months , not that I was a big coffee drinker.

I visited Melbourne had way too much coffee and when I returned home decided I didn't need to drink it anymore.

Its not been hard , it's just been a change of habit. And I didn't know what difference I would feel , first difference was the taste in my mouth felt fresher , then I just felt less like a coffee because I liked this change .

Point of this is discussion is has anyone just changed something about their daily habits and found its a good thing ? 

I feel pressure as soon as I set a goal , if I look at it differently then I am more likely to succeed in my own awareness of how I can improve my  life in this moment 

Cheerio Sue

 

6 Responses

Hi Sue,

Nice work!  It sounds like quitting coffee has been a positive change for you.

I'm wondering what it is about setting goals that makes you feel pressured.

Also, how do you look at it differently to make you more likely to succeed?

Id love to hear more about the process that helps you.

Kind regards,

Melita (StrokeLine)

Hi Melita,

 

I will give the explaining a go, it's a bunch of random thoughts about what this word means to me and why I look for alternatives to the word goal.  Like Intention, or making something my priority. or something I am working towards.

 

For me the word goal brings up the thought in my head of trying to shoot a goal.  Like in sport.

There is either a goal or not a goal after the ball has been thrown or kicked.And a whole team is waiting expectantly on a goal or not.

 

 

The pressure I also relate back to when I really found it hard to communicate and I was being asked what my goals were. I was very very sad about life at the time and my emotional state was not being given any support nor could I find someone to trust with my past.  My days were all about physical work.

 

So the word goal for this reason doesn't work for me.  It leaves me feeling, inadequate or that there is a possibility that I am going to miss the goal or that by even having  a goal I am ignoring all the other wonderful opportunities there are to discover something along they way.

 

 

Where as if I replace the word with intention or priority or even use the phrase something I am working towards I feel I have a lot more room to explore, move, be curious about what it is I am wanting to achieve and I am more likely to put energy into discovering answers to my questions along the way and feel ownership over my intention.

 

I feel excited at the prospect of learning something along the way by looking at my desires like this.  For me it's more of a continuum of thoughts  rather than ticking boxes of a list.

 

And this is what works for me.  I have friends who are very list driven and that works for them, which is great.

 

Working out what gets us going is a start!

 

I hope my ramblings make some sense:-)

 

Sue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Melita,

 

I wanted to add another thought about goal setting - I worked in the Homelessness Sector for many years finishing up last year.  Working with people who's basic needs were far from being met.

 

There was something about working with in an area balancing needs and goals which made so much sense to me and I managed this area of understanding very well.  

 

Having many unmet emotional needs after returning home from rehab when I had my stroke and also being asked to set goals would make my head spin in confusion. 

 

I left rehab with words from my therapists that I could start a brand new life. I had no reply to this, only a blank expression.  How could I set goals for the future when my emotional past was a mess of  unacknowledged pain. And it has been through working through all this  unacknowledged pain over the last ten years with my counselor  that I have been able to address deep hurts from many areas of not only the acute phase of my stroke and recovery but my life prior to all this.

 

Needs being met before goals being made to me makes sense.

 

Sue

 

 

Hi Sue,

Thank you for giving us an insight of what intentions/priorities/goals mean to you.

Your messages make great sense.

 

It sounds like having unmet emotional needs at the time that you were being asked to set goals has really made that term a negative one that doesn't work for you.

 

So, the things that do work are:

1. Addressing needs before trying to create any other less vital plans.

2. Finding what works for you in your recovery (not just physically but wholistically including emotionally and taking into account your learning style and other preferences) and doing it!

 

Thanks for sharing your incredible journey.

 

Melita (StrokeLine)

Hi Melita

 

Yes! 

 

Those points round up my messages very soundly - awesome :-)

 

Happy Friday!!

 

Sue

 

 

Hi Melita

 

Yes! 

 

Those points round up my messages very soundly - awesome :-)

 

Happy Friday!!

 

Sue

 

 

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