Angry spouse

Hi Cindy, 

Changes in personality are common after stroke however often when lack of insight is also involved it can make navigating the stroke recovery journey more difficult for both the stroke survivor and their loved ones.

Personality changes may be the most difficult changes to understand and get used to.

After a stroke, existing personality traits can become exaggerated.

In contrast, sometimes people behave in ways that aren’t like them at all. 

Sudden mood swings or uncontrollable emotions are common after stroke. People may cry or laugh with little or no real cause.

Personality changes can also include apathy, irritability and aggression. 

Sometimes difficult behaviour is aimed only at the people closest to the survivor. Most of us show the more difficult parts of ourselves only to the people we are closest to, safe in the knowledge that they will probably forgive us.

Some stroke survivors seem unable to recognise or understand that their behaviour or personality has changed, and feel that there is nothing wrong with them so they have no reason to change. 

Everybody needs to find their own way of coping with these changes and this will take time.

There can be grief about the survivor no longer being the same person they were before.

Just like in life, personality after stroke will continue to change over time.

Immediate changes in personality are not always permanent. 

If your partner is not willing to seek any help, it is important that you do.

He may be willing to reach out for help at a later stage.

Speak with your doctor or health professional. Treatment such as psychological interventions or behavioural management strategies can help. It can also be helpful to talk to trusted family members and friends, so that they understand what is happening and can provide support.

I have attached some resources below that may be helpful from Synapse and The acquired brain injury outreach service (ABIOS) that offer helpful advice and behavioural management strategies. 

Carer gateway is a great resource that offers free phone counselling and peer support for carers.

Managing Behaviour Archives - Synapse

Impact on Families Archives - Synapse

Resources for Families and Support Workers on Behaviour Management | Queensland Health

Home | Carer Gateway

I hope this information helps.

Please free to give us a call us on StrokeLine- 1800787653  or email us at strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au  if  we can help you any further.

Regards

Alicia (StrokeLine)

This resonates. Hearing this from the other side makes you really think about the situation on-hand. I had a PICA stroke about 7 years ago and thought that only my body was affected. On reflection my emotions have heightened and my comprehension of situations (e.g. confrontational) is questionable. I find I'm quick to react and sometimes, what comes out of my mouth is not what I actually mean and before I can explain, the moment has past, which I can tell you is really frustrating. Catch-22, if you avoid confrontation then there is the very real chance that you will not progress. Call it verbal rehabilitation. I now realise that this is going to take..... time, unfortunately the world around me moves very quickly and I am playing one serious game of catch up.

Your partner does not wish to seek help, yep, I get it. Something about pride gets in the way. I can do this alone, I  haven't had help before, blah, blah, sounds familiar. Help comes in many forms and from odd places. Over the years I've heard many stories from carers and close friends of hardship relating to cancer, battling dementia and traumatic accidents. All have a common theme, how the individual, family and friends cope with it, especially mentally. Changes in negotiation, communication etc need to be adopted, easier said than done right? You try telling a teenager to be patient and see how far that gets you. I don't have the answers, although it is one of my missions to try and find out as much as I can. There is so much information out there it makes your head hurt. All I can say is that time heals wounds and patience is definitely a virtue. I've lost so much to this stroke and it would sicken me to lose my best friend of 30 years too. That's not going to happen.

Hi Cindy, I'm not an expert, but I did a lot of reading regarding stroke (and based on my experience). What I read is that it is important to establish the type of stroke, location of stroke (damage to the brain). I gather that if there is significant damage to the brain it can affect many functions, but, healing/recovery is possible, as new pathways are established in our brain - but it takes time and a lot of practice. In any case, always best to have a qualified and experienced doctor to advise. Take care!