Anniversary Time Again

Nina Wilde
Nina Wildeon Wednesday, April 27 2016
9 Comments

Hi Everyone

 

So its come around again.  I prepare as best I can, the dates pass by and then I crash somewhat.  It's been 23 years gone by now that I have been a stroke survivor. Mixed in with grief and loss from the loss of our first baby,

I suffered Eclampsia at 21 weeks pregnant when 22 years old, our baby was still born.  Two weeks after this and having been discharged from hospital I had my stroke. A Basalar Arterial Thrombosis - clot in the brain stem. 

I have now been alive longer post stroke than pre stroke.  And I remember my recovery and event's surrounding this vividly.

So I struggle with the memories and emotions that this time of year brings up no matter how I try to be aware of the journey of recovery and blessings in my life now.

So I sourced my psychologist, she is very familiar with my story and myself over the last eight years I have seen her.  I went to my Dr.  who is a fairly new Dr. of mine as my past Dr. moved towns. I trust  my new Dr. and I made another appointment next week to follow up again. I need to know I am in good hands when I seek medical help and can easily sense if someone is right for me or not. This choice I make has not always been the case, I for so long didn't have a voice so made do with treatment I know now I wouldn't stand for.

Anniversary time is hard work for me so self care is something I need to be aware of.   How do other people find their anniversaries or dates of significance?

Yours in recovery

Sue

 

9 Responses

Sue I find anniversaries and important dates sometimes difficult. Every October we celebrate my recovery with family and friends. Tears do flow as memories of stroke day 2012 surface, a date that changed my life , my husband's and my family forever. I can also cry when happy.   I have learned to experience those feelings and let them go. Emotional lability I now have control of. That was a big issue for me  over a three year period. Despite the tears I do enjoy anniversaries

because I am spoilt rotten with flowers from my husband-my No 1supporter.   Jenny

Thanks Jenny for your post, I thought I probably sounded a bit down in my original post, I am ok however just reflecting. I agree to the experience the feelings and let them go, happy and sad tears are part of my life too! 

Hi Sue,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience of your anniversary. It's wonderful to read your writing and connect on here after speaking on the phone. I think it's fantastic that you preempt how you might feel and support yourself by booking into see your psychologist and GP around the time of your anniversary. This date not only representing your stroke but the loss of your baby, I can't imagine that gets much easier. How are you feeling this week? 

 

Jenny what a wonderful way to celebrate your anniversary with family, friends, your husband and flowers. I look forward to reading how other survivors spend this day. If anyone is seeking support on their anniversary or any day please know you can call us on StrokeLine for support and a listening ear. 

 

Simone - StrokeLine 1800 787 653 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)

Hi Simone

This week I have more perspective and am not so consumed by the shadows which make up anniversary time . A lighter sense of mood and looking forward to thingsrather than the flash backs of trauma and grief.

Sue

 

I'm so pleased to hear Sue :-)

 

You know where I am if you ever need to talk.

 

Simone

Hi everyone

 

So I began the post above during  anniversary time last year.  What a difference a year  has made where I received support and able to talk with people honestly and openly - with those that "Get It" has made.

I am now mid way between anniversary of the loss of our baby  Chelsea and when I had my stroke as I write this. 

So much has happened within this time which has involved the Stroke Community. I have had the chance to connect, share, receive and give which has made so much difference to my self confidence and peace regarding my health history.

I remember times in my 20's when trying to live my life and be positive and being plagued by traumatic memories of my stroke history and grief knowing that the magic word TIME was thrown around a lot to me. And I can add that the song Unchained Melody which was sung at the 20th Stroke Foundation Anniversary last year by the Stroke'A'Chords which has the words "And time, can do so much. Only time." I often wondered years ago when, when, when would I feel peaceful about the events surrounding my stroke as I worked so hard to continue the life I chose for myself.

Well time, support, hard work,reliving, acceptance, grief, purpose, love, self determination and sharing all comes to mind now as I write this post. All the while knowing that everyone's Stroke Journey is different and unique to them.

 

As it's Saturday night and I am home I do reflect on how my stroke changed our social life - but that's ok . I live for balance and purpose in my life so I do take care not to burn the candle at both ends.  Sometimes I get wobbly but that's ok too as long as I know what to do to bring myself to a balance I know works.

Thanks for listening.

 

Sue

 

 

Thank you Sue for sharing your story. I thought I was the only one to struggle with my "strokeiversary". I'm coming up to 3 years after stroke and have booked a couple of days off work and taking my family camping to try and distract myself from the bad memories. Does it ever get easier?

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