Relationships after stroke

Relationships Australia is a leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families and communities. They aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. This edition, we are pleased to profile Val Holden, pictured above, from Relationships Australia talking about navigating life and relationships after stroke.

How can a sudden health crisis like stroke affect a couple’s relationship? Couples often have to adjust to a different kind of relationship. One partner may not be able to do all the things they used to and if they are severely affected, one partner may have to become the carer for the other. This completely changes the relationship dynamic.

A severe health crisis brings up strong emotions like fear, anger and grief. The person may not be able to return to work which adds financial stress to the relationship as well. A health crisis can also change the way people think about each other, thoughts around how much do I really love this person or their level of commitment to each other often come up.

How can counselling help?

Individual counselling can help people feel heard and give them a space to explore their own emotions around this crisis. This reflection can make things clearer for themselves and will help them to not bottle up emotions that may explode over the partner.

Individual counselling is also helpful for the client who has not suffered the health crisis when the other partner is unable to participate in counselling due to health issues.

Couples counselling can give a safe space for the couple to hear how this has affected each of them and give them understanding and skills to help each other deal with this crisis. Counselling can help the couple understand the impact of this sudden crisis and help them understand the emotions of guilt or stress and the negative affect this may have on the relationship. Couples can also help each other to deal with this transition in their relationship and come to an understanding of its impact on each of them.

Through counselling, clients can come to a better place in themselves which will help both of them accept and move forward from the place of crisis.

What happens during counselling at Relationships Australia?

People are encouraged to explore their feelings and emotions in a safe place where problems and issues can be understood. Counselling can help people gain clarity, exploring a wide range of possibilities, options and the possible consequences of actions. People report feeling supported, acknowledged, respected and valued throughout the counselling process.

Any advice for someone whose partner is reluctant to go to counselling?

They can access counselling themselves and this will ultimately impact on the other person as change in one person in a relationship will affect the other. Also sometimes when one client accesses counselling the other person can see the positive change and can be encouraged to attend.

How long have you worked at Relationships Australia and what do you like about it?

I have been with Relationships Australia since 2006 working as a relationship and family counsellor, gambling help counsellor and a clinical supervisor within this time. I enjoy working with families and couples helping them to explore their relationships to achieve their goals and sustain healthy and happy relationships.

Call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 or visit www.relationships.org.au