Hello Mark,
Thank you for your forum post regarding your and your mother's situation. I am so sorry to hear about your experiences and I hope you both get the support you deserve.
I just want to acknowledge how incredibly overwhelming this situation sounds for both of you.
We strongly encourage you to speak to your mother's treating team at the rehabilitation Hospital, regarding your mother's mental health and suicidal ideation. This should be addressed immediately, as it is a serious concern.
When stroke survivors have significant impacts from stroke, we often implore them to liaise back into the hospital where their stroke was identified, or refer into a rehabilitation hospital. It is incredibly important for stroke survivors to maximise therapy and rehabilitation as soon as possible after a stroke. We understand that some individuals would prefer to be home than in hospital, but it is positive thing that your mother can receive the care and therapy that she needs at the hospital she is in.
As your situation is particularly challenging and complex, it is really important that your mother's discharge planning is done safely and carefully. If your mother is discharged before either of you are ready, this could make the situation even more overwhelming for both of you. Please keep clear and honest communications with the treating team at the hospital. You can ask to schedule a family meeting to get updates on your mother’s rehabilitation, discuss your concerns, goal-setting and planning for things your mother would need at home. Her treating allied health team would make recommendations if they think she would need personal care assistants or nurses, for example. The family meeting is helpful to ensure everything is in place to support the both of you, prior to the discharge date.
Many stroke survivors can understandably feel frustrated, scared, or angry after a stroke. You may read more information regarding emotional changes post-stroke on our EnableMe website here. Psychology or counselling can be quite helpful at times, particularly as many stroke survivors may feel isolated and it can be helpful to speak to a third party about how you feel. Support groups can also be a wonderful way of reducing social isolation and connecting with others who may have a similar lived experience, as a stroke survivor or a carer. THRFG in South Australia have a list of stroke support groups here which you might find interesting, or there are a few online options we can send as well.
If you have concerns or are unhappy with the care your mother has been given, all hospitals should have a complaints process listed on the website. However, please speak to the Nurse Unit Manager first regarding your concerns, and then you may escalate through their process.
Please remember to take care of your own health and wellbeing during this time. Stroke doesn't just affect the survivor, it affects families, carers and loved ones. If you need mental health support or someone to talk to, please speak with your GP or there are online/over-the-phone options such as Beyond Blue (1300 22 46 36) and LifeLine (13 11 14).
I hope this has been helpful for you so far. Please do not hesitate to contact us again if you need more information or support, on StrokeLine 1800 787 653 or email strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au. We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm AEST.
Kind regards and I wish you all the very best,
Karina (StrokeLine)
