Hi Eddie,
Thanks for starting such an important conversation. Marcus has some excellent suggestions and experience to share. In addition to his tips here are some others to consider:
1. Identify and know your triggers well so you can prepare or avoid them (noisy, crowded environments, lack of sleep, stress, etc).
2. Once you remove yourself take 10 deep breaths. (Practice mindfulness as Marcus suggests, notice any sensations in the body, the chest/tummy rising with each breath, feel your feet on the ground, etc).
3. Regular routines can help.
4. Be consistent in your approach. Trying a strategy here or there is unlikely to have much impact unless you practice it regularly to see if it is working.
5. Request regular feedback from close family and friends.
6. Try to be open and communicate clearly if you're struggling.
7. Keep a diary to increase awareness and monitor what strategies are working best. Note down day/time of the event, rate your anger/aggression/frustration out of 10 or note how you felt at the time (sensations, thoughts, feelings), what happened just prior (identify any triggers), what strategies were used and their effectiveness, how you felt afterwards (sensations, thoughts, feelings).
8. Practice self-care. Eat a healthy, balanced diet of whole foods, get plenty of sleep. Avoid processed and packaged foods, excessive amounts of caffeine, alcohol and other potential stimulants or depressants.
9. Exercise! Move your body, get the good endorphins going and release any pent up frustration or energy through exercise.
10. Seek support. See a psychologist or talk to a health professional to monitor progress, provide feedback and debrief. There may be frustrations or negative/limiting beliefs that you're not consciously aware of that can be explored in therapy to help work through so they don't build up over time. The outbursts or behaviours may carry an important message or information. Ask yourself what is behind that response? Why was I triggered? Am I tired? Feeling deflated at lack of progress or difficulty adjusting to life after stroke? Feeling misunderstood? Unhappy at work or in a relationship, etc? Sometimes what is underneath the frustration is worth exploring, but sometimes the trigger may be as simple as being overtimulated by too many people or noise.
The Synapse fact sheets have some great ideas around behaviour and personality changes that you might find helpful.
http://synapse.org.au/information-services/anger-angry-outbursts-after-a-brain-injury.aspx
http://synapse.org.au/information-services/abc-approach-to-understanding-behaviour.aspx
http://synapse.org.au/information-services/what-is-the-message-behind-a-behaviour.aspx
Please let us know how you get on with some of the strategies. It would be wonderful to hear, like Marcus, what helps you the most. It will definitely help others going through the same thing too.
If you would like to chat further please don't hesitate to call StrokeLine on 1800 787 653 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) to discuss.
Best wishes,
Simone (Occupational Therapist for StrokeLine)