Comments from the Facebook community.
Jo Kyte
Oh Alex I’m so with you on this, it’s so hard to adjust to the new you, especially when you can still remember the old you and personality, everyone forgets that a brain injury is an invisible one, I wish sometimes you could wear it on your arm so people can see. I feel the best way to deal with this is be honest with everyone and just tell them you may need to walk away or not come or just be there in person but have some quiet time. I fully understand how stressed you feel
Duncan Mitchell
Don't stress about it, take your time and enjoy the moment. My filter has gone as well, embrace it and be happy.
Cherie Birch
It's truly difficult and you will be overwhelmed. Some people will understand some won't. We accept others who are different, I hope they embrace you too.
It opens your eyes to a whole new world and emotions. In time you will embrace the new you and love you more.
Ursula Sautner
I had two major strokes in 2014 and 2015
For the first 2 years I wasn’t able to have visitors at all , not even my closest friends. Some understood and accepted, others felt hurt.
Now I am much stronger again but still can’t go out or have phone calls in the evening
But I still live a full life with my limitations and I enjoy my beautiful grandchildren
I am sooo thankful for every new day
Things will get much easier for you too. Some days are easier others will be hard.
Say yes to who you are now. You have changed and have a new chance at life. Grab your new life with both hands and enjoy every little progress
God bless you.
Wen Henderson
Hi Alex,
I'm the wife and carer, of a 56yr old man, who had a stroke in August of this year. He is going through the same things, I'm trying my hardest to support him and be as understanding as I can, but I wasn't the one who had the stroke. I have been watching some YouTube videos from other stroke surviors to try and get a little understanding or some insight.
Try integrating slowly a little at a time, don't put a time frame on it either, just do what you can.
Baby steps.
Vicki McGregor
My hubby had a stroke almost 2 years ago - 23 December. His filter was definitely gone but over time he has gotten so much better at controlling that. He still asks me though if he said anything wrong. We are very social and we started with this almost straight away. I almost had to have a roster for people to come visit as we have so many amazing people in our lives who just wanted to see he was ok and genuinely cared about him. Just take things at your own pace and as others have said those that truly love and care for you will accept things the way they are now. It is hard being the onlookers too and they don’t understand what you might be thinking inside your head. If there is no physical disability (in my husbands case), it’s even harder for people to know there is a difference in the way you think and feel. It’s such a hard journey some days but with the support of the ones closest to you, you will be ok. I would have a “look” or I would give him a rub on the arm if I thought my husbands filter was truly coming down. Sometimes I’d just guide the conversation in another direction. All the best and I do hope you can enjoy some time with family and friends. It’s nice to have them around too
Jennifer A. Houghton
Take timeout when you need to. I had a stroke a month before last Christmas. Because I was unable to drive my son picked me up and took me to his family for Christmas. I felt trapped! I'm in a busy household and can't escape. Christmas day was hell. I got overwhelmed so many times. Three days after Christmas I put myself on a bus and went home.
I still struggle with my personality changes and am planning Christmas at home alone this year.
Nic Wright
My husband had a stroke, he says..explain to people the stroke has affected your thinking, your mood and that with time you and your family will adapt as your brain works towards repairing itself...not all get it and the best will...hang in there..
Sherree Morgan
The personality is a new one to adapt too, we remember our old self, however, we will never be that again!! Take time for yourself and be kind to your new way of life, it’s not easy, but you’ll get there!! Merry Christmas all the same, you survived and have navigated the toughest part - xx
Should probably add - unless you’ve endured a brain injury, it’s impossible to understand- people can be aware but not “get it” we need to be patient with people also and try explain as best we can
