Reconnecting - Breaking down the wall!

SIL_Needs_A_Hand
SIL_Needs_A_Handon Monday, October 12 2015
4 Comments

In summary: My sister, aged in her early 30's, happily married with 2 young children (under 5) suffered an unexpected rupture of an aneurysm at the base of her brain nearly 18 months ago. During her weeks in ICU she suffered a major stroke, we were told to expect the worst. After months in rehab, she was finally able to come home. Her improvement (through the eyes of her parents, siblings and relatives) has been nothing short of a miracle. To us, she is 90% back to herself. 

Her husband (my brother in law) is having more of a challenge handling her recovery, their relationship (physically, emotionally) and in turn family is suffering. I am shouting out for him as I am hoping to find someone (a carer/partner) who has been in a similar situation that may be able to connect with him. 

 

After losing one of his parents at a young age, he had a fairly emotional upbringing and  holds a lot of emotion from this and now what has happened with my sister seems to have just added to his list of life challenges.

 

He is a typical Aussie bloke who enjoys a beer and working hard to provide for his family. Not the kind of guy I can see sitting in a sterile room with a Psychologist/Council worker talking about his problems. Moreso, I find he would connect better with someone over a drink at the pub or a chat over a spot of fishing.  

 

Unfortunately, he is unable to return to work at this stage as my sister requires assistance caring for her children. Going from a full time provider to full time carer/stay at home dad is proving extremely difficult and putting a huge strain on their life.

 

Hopefully, someone can point me in the direction of a survivor/carer of a survivor/qualified specialist who may be able to help. Thanks in advance! 

4 Responses

Hello,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your sister having a stroke. We would be very happy to chat to your brother in law and have a number of suggestions if he would call us on StrokeLine 1800 787 653 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm. If he is reluctant to call us then please give us a call yourself so we can go through our recommendations to see what might be most appropriate.

 

Keep an eye out on here as well as I'm sure the community will have some words of wisdom and their experiences to share.

 

Best wishes,

 

Simone (Occupational Therapist - StrokeLine)

Hi

Unfortunately there is no easy answer to your brother's problem. I am a victim and not sure how I could have worn the caregiver hat. The stroke is a vicious taskmaster and in a few seconds completely alters one's life and that of every one in the circle. Ten months ago it hit me out of the blue and at once my wife accepted the challenge and dedicated herself to my recovery. She has been excellent and in return I can do is insist she maintain her own life of hobbies, friends and clubs.

We have a great advantage though, our age means we have no children to care for, mortgages to meet or any other handicaps. Money is not a serious problem as we can live off our limited means. Your brother will have to change his way of life dramatically and I sincerely hope he has the ability to do this. Everybody's thoughts and sympathies will be with the pair of them.

Hello there. Unfortunately I do not know your name. My heart goes out to you and your family. What a rotten thing to happen to a mother with young children. A stroke has a ripple effect throughout the family, everyone suffers to some degree. I hope your brotherinlaw has found a support group that appeals to him.   Jenny

Hi there 

 

Check out if there's a men's shed near him. There are often blokes who are also carers there - a good place to go to connect with others and get support without all the usual things that put people off about all that!

 

http://www.mensshed.org/home/.aspx

 

Cheers from Jude at the NSF

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