All Alone

Hi Karen,

This is a really important conversation to start. Isolation can effect people on every level - mental, emotional, physical and spiritually. 

I hope that people start a discussion about this, as online communities may offer people support that they otherwise would not get.

Dxx 

p.s will post on the wall on FB x

Hi Diana,

Your comments are so relevant and important. In my own case when I had my stroke; and having previously had a heart attack some years back, I felt very alone.  Following on from my stroke I felt my GP was not giving me the support I needed and living in a regional area where there is no support or rehabilitation, the distance isolation has an impact.  Depending on your social network, the isolation can also have a major impact.  My closest friends live in a capital city 600 kms away and the phone and close friendships helped in having someone to talk to.  I have since found the building a network of good health professionals essential and has helped me move foward (I am no longer seeing my original GP).  The other major support came from the Stroke Foundation in your many resources and having professionals to email and speak with over the phone. Not only stroke survivors but anyone who has a major illness and either lives alone or feels isolated in any way need those strong netwoks to help in rehabilitation and recovery.  You can live in a capital city and still feel isolated.  The poem my friend wrote is accurate in its sentiment. 

Hi Karen, it's easy to feel alone even if you're not alone.  I have cared for my husband for over three years and although he is still with me, at times I feel very alone as I have lost the husband I have known for over forty years.  He can't help it, but there is no warmth or encouragement, hugs or pleasant words any more.  The love we shared, I still feel, but he cannot express it any more.  Most people say poor Ian imagine how he feels and how frustrating it must be, but what about the carer his/her life changes in an instant as well.  I find the only people who do understand are those who are experiencing the journey themselves.  We have finally found a proactive stroke group and I'm finding it helpful to talk with these people especially as there are others with similar  disabilities as my husband.  Yes there are services out there but it is sometimes very difficult to find them especially in certain areas.  All the best.   Keep your spirits up.Hope is what we cling to. Jennifer (wife and carer)

Hi Karen, it's easy to feel alone even if you're not alone.  I have cared for my husband for over three years and although he is still with me, at times I feel very alone as I have lost the husband I have known for over forty years.  He can't help it, but there is no warmth or encouragement, hugs or pleasant words any more.  The love we shared, I still feel, but he cannot express it any more.  Most people say poor Ian imagine how he feels and how frustrating it must be, but what about the carer his/her life changes in an instant as well.  I find the only people who do understand are those who are experiencing the journey themselves.  We have finally found a proactive stroke group and I'm finding it helpful to talk with these people especially as there are others with similar  disabilities as my husband.  Yes there are services out there but it is sometimes very difficult to find them especially in certain areas.  All the best.   Keep your spirits up.Hope is what we cling to. Jennifer (wife and carer)

Hi Jennifer and Karen,

Did you read this recent article?

Loneliness linked to 30% increase in heart disease and stroke risk

Interesting perspective.

Diana

Hello Jennifer

Your words are so true, you can often feel alone even if you are not alone and to really understand what one goes through you need to experience it yourself.  My heart goes out to you as you have lost so much it is often the carer who is the forgotten one. If you don't mind I am going to forward your comments onto Janice who wrote the poem 'All Alone'  Janice has also written a poem recently 'In Appreciation of Those Who Care For Us' and it is below, I hope it helps.  I wish you every happiness, peace and know that there are people who care about you.

IN APPRECIATION OF THOSE WHO CARE FOR US.

By Janice Rowan

When the diagnosis of a chronic illness impacts on a loved one; it also affects you!

Your lives change dramatically as its future implications are many not few.

You evolve into a well-informed supporter, strong advocate and loyal carer as well

Encouraging a loved one to remain active and independent, throughout this private hell.

Your life is put on hold, while you continue to devote attention to their pressing needs.

Monitoring how symptoms vary regularly and where future progression of the illness leads.

You share all their emotions, as you both experience daily what this condition has cost!

And you understand and give comfort as they grieve for all that they have lost.

At times you wonder if your constant presence and assistance makes any difference at all.

Especially when loved ones can seem detached, moody and not the person you recall.

But your caring partnership is the best therapy to motivate and keep hope alive in the quest

Of finding a miracle cure in the near future to eradicate this devastating and universal pest.

But until then, you are truly valued and appreciated for the love and support given tirelessly each day.

Loved ones recognise you as their treasured earth angel and unite in sending sincere thanks and praise in a most heartfelt way!

Hi Jennifer

Please see my earlier post this morning and Janice's poem "In Appreciation of Those Who Care for Us".  I let Janice know of your situation and she wanted me to tell you the following:

" All alone can cover and encompass many people..... I have the utmost respect for carers as they are hit hard emotionally by their loved one's health issues while trying to remain positive to meet all the demands and needs of the person they are caring for.....often they receive little thanks especially if the person has become most dependent on them with communication difficulties ...... There is usually little respite from the daily caring routine and if locked in this ongoing cycle, a carer can become socially isolated and burnt out as their own needs are not being met!

This is why it is crucial to have support networks that can offer assistance, resources  and care alternatives in these situations.... I have the utmost respect for carers who put their lives on hold to care for others.... They are truly "EARTH ANGELS"......"