How do I help someone get their mojo back 8 years post stroke?

Hi Spock55,

Thank you for reaching out on EnableMe. I am sorry to hear about your dad’s stroke and the challenges from it. It’s great to see that you are concerned for his well-being and livelihood and are keen to find out more. We see many stroke survivors experience low motivation which can affect the ability to keep active and vigilant in their life.

It would be good if your dad could see a GP. They can assess his mood and consider a management plan which may include medication or perhaps a Mental Health care plan to see a private psychologist if he is open to this. If mood is the issue, this management plan may help with the motivation and grief over what has happened and some strategies to help with what he is going through at the moment.

It’s great to hear that he has a NDIS plan. What kind of allied health care has he received through the scheme? If he is having trouble completing daily household tasks and upkeep of his hygiene, a Physio and Occupational Therapist may help identify if he has any physical or cognitive (thinking)/ issues in everyday tasks. Do you think his weak leg and lack of feeling in the arm is leading to some functional issues in hygiene upkeep for example?  Sometimes thinking issues may also affect everyday tasks and present like low motivation. If the OT identifies some of these issues, they could indicate to the GP that your father may need a neuropsychology referral to get further assessments and strategies to address issues with thinking and behaviour. This assessment may also be a tool to help guide other care staff and allied health. 

Here are some added resources that may help

EnableMe page on psychology and neuropsychology

EnableMe page on emotions

EnableMe page on thinking and perception

ABIOS- Acquired brain injury outreach service also has some behavioural resources. One that may be useful is ‘understanding adynamia and lack of motivation’

Synapse (Australia’s brain injury association) has a helpful resource on motivation and initiation with some great tips.

I hope this helps, please don’t hesitate to call us on StrokeLine 1800 787 653 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm AEST)

Warm regards,

Kath (StrokeLine)

Hi Spock55,

I hope these comments from the Facebook community help too. 

Katrina Harvey Never stop visiting and including your kids! Find tasks that you can do together. After our Dad had a stroke we continue to do crosswords with him. He can't see the words due to bad eyesight, but we give him the clues and spell out the letters and it keeps his brain active! Stay strong.

Garry Preston Oh. I am a stroke survivor that turns 65 in July. I had my stroke almost 10 years ago. I worked very hard to come back. At the time I felt like I was training for an Ironman event just to be able to do the things I took for granted. I think for me a most important thing was family support. The brain can take time to come back and we should never give up. Metal health can be an issue. Does he have an understanding Doctor. That help me a lot in the early years after my stroke.

Jenny Sellars Depends if he is enjoying the time at home as some people are. Have a talk with him about what he wants and go from there.

Steve Walsh Break big goals down into small, easier to achieve goals first. Be persistent and never give up on yourself!

Hello Spock,

My mother is now nearly 60, and had her stroke about 8 years ago. She has similarly faced periods of being very down, and not doing much. This is particularly difficult to watch for loved ones who have previously been so active and energetic.

My advice is patience, but persistence. Your father's energy levels are likely alot lower than they were before, so encouraging small activities, even if its just having a cup of tea in the sun, a walk around the garden, or reading a book with your kids. Gently explain that you are your kids would love for him to be more active in your lives, but be patient to meet him where he is at. 

It sounds like mental health support could be useful. Our mother is getting a range of professional support for this now, but only after alot of encouragement.

Regarding hygiene and sell esteem - some gentle conversations could help, but be very patient. This has similarly been a difficult issue with our mother, and it seems that her own expectations around appearance and grooming have changed alot. Now, we are patient. If she gets up, and is happy to have a meal together, or a cup of tea together, that is enough. 

Your Dad is exceptionally lucky to have you caring so much, and seeing the potential that he has. One thing we have learned is that it is impossible to get a stubborn person to do anything, and they have to make that decision themselves. Make things as easy as possible for him to start re-engaging. Good luck.