How do I not lose my temper at my 14 year old daughter? I get so angry over every. I try not to lose my temper but I do

Hi Kirsty

Thanks for reaching out on Enableme.

It must be such a difficult time for you, not only trying to navigate your stroke recovery but also teenage years.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Many families report relationships can become strained between children and their parent post brain injury.

After a stroke, family roles can change.  A Stroke can impact one’s physical and cognitive functioning which can result in changes to one’s emotional, behavioural and mental state. With all these changes can come stresses on relationships, as it can be hard to empathise and see another person’s point of view.

We know that relationship dynamics frequently do shift after a family member suffers a stroke, and, adapting can be difficult, but the good news is that it can be done and relationships remain a significant positive factor in people’s lives post stroke.

There are lots of different strategies out there that may help to rebuild and maintain relationships. Synapse, Australia’s brain injury organisation has some great tips and strategies on family relationship changes and challenges post stroke here.

Understanding common problem areas of your relationships can be key to knowing where you can benefit from support and guidance.

It might be worth having a chat to your GP about engaging a suitable counsellor or psychologist for yourself to work on some of these issues and concerns. If they feel it’s suitable, they may also invite your daughter to have a shared session, only if appropriate.

Many Schools often provide counsellors, if you feel it may be worthwhile bringing this up with your teenage daughter, please do. It may be about finding the right time to do this as an option, not just for now but future consideration, so she knows that there are independent options out there for here.

We would be more than happy to talk with you further if you need any more help on 1800 787 653, or email us on strokeline@strokefoundation.com.au 

We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm AEST and would be more than happy to talk with you

Regards

Alicia

My advice is it takes time to settle in , face it you had a stroke and it effects every person , learn to live with on what works , not on your loses , it's a test for you , learn to control your emotions and the rest of the family will be happy . It's not easy that is why I say it is a test . More of a frustration than anything else , learn to control yourself and your new body . Remember some parts might not work , but what does work use it .

Hi Kirsty,

Here is some more advice and shared experience from the community.

Meliame Tauali'i - Fifita

Take it easy and don't be too hard on yourself the change is unexpected and you are trying your best to deal with it. You acknowledging that this is a problem, means you are aware of it and want to do something about it. I am sure your family are also aware of this change in you. All the best and talk to a professional if you want more help.

Heather Finger

It is tough. Having a supportive family and friends helps. Hope you feel better with each passing day.

Rob Kelly

I am nearly 7 years post stroke. In the beginning I had a lot of difficulties controlling my emotions but it does get better

BahrisBytes

Take a step back and a deep breath. You have been to where nobody wants to go and you have conquered. Take time to access your situation and good thoughts only. This from a double stroke survivor.

Janine Shaw

My stroke was 3 weeks ago and I too am terrified of it happening again and that I will never feel the same. I am lucky I know. I have random twitches in my fingers and something called tremors so when I lie down I feel like my bed is shaking. It is horrendous and I hope it gets better. I am exhausted and have 0 energy which worries me also. Time is the key I hope. Best wishes to all.

Lisa Grant

Hey Rachel. It's a wobbly ride but it does get better. You are strong and it's OK to be angry. Six months in myself and while a milestone my stroke symptoms have become somewhat 'invisible ' but they are still real. I agree with Rachel go to Stroke Foundation website for some resources. Also maybe talk to GP or care team about an enhanced care plan to see a psychologist. Having this support has been helpful to acknowledge that recovery is hard and 'alot. Wishing you all the best in your recovery.

Nicole Howard

I know exactly what you are talking about. And trust me it does get better. The hardest thing to accept is the change in who you are. That in its itself will be making you angry. Give yourself some time, see a counsellor if you need. Best of luck with your recovery, it's a bloody hard road.

Tonya Chenoweth

Hey Rachel. I get it. Just do each days as it comes. Some days I feel like I'm the only person and other days I feel everyone's supports. You know. It's hard to explain when telling someone who hasn't had a stroke. I've had 6 (all in dif areas) so I get it

I forgot to say the comments were from Rachel who asked a similar question - Diana