My partner seems emotionally numb following his stroke. He doesn't show affection in any way nor express himself. I feel like his sister, not his partner and it makes me feel really isolated. Will this part of his personality return?

Hi BecauseILoveHim,

We are sorry to hear about your partner’s stroke and how it has affected him and your relationship dynamic.

Changes in personality are common after stroke, and they can be difficult changes to understand and manage. We are glad that you are reaching out for support.

Is he aware of the changes to his personality? Some stroke survivors seem unable to recognise or understand that their behaviour or personality has changed and feel that there is nothing wrong with them, so they have no reason to change. Planning strategies to help the stroke survivor become aware of their actions and their effect can help. You can read more about impaired awareness here.

Have you communicated how these changes make you feel? From conversations with the lived experience community, in relation to relationships and intimacy they suggested to “Talk about what you’re finding difficult, and what you’re enjoying. Listen to each other. Be open about your needs and wishes.” You can read more about this in the Sex, Relationships and Intimacy factsheet here.

We also know that fatigue can affect decision-making, mood, and motivation and therefore have a significant impact in the survivor of stroke’s ability to do the ‘day-to-day’ things. It may be helpful to explore if your partner has fatigue and if it is having ripple-on effects to their mood/how he interacts with you. If so, he may benefit from seeing an occupational therapist for support with rehabilitation and fatigue management strategies.

Ongoing support

It may also be helpful to get mental health support for yourself and for your partner as you may find it beneficial to have someone you can speak with regularly for support and for you to feel less ‘isolated.’

You could speak to your GP about commencing a mental health care plan and a referral to a counsellor. You could also consider contacting Relationships Australia for advice.

Discuss with your partner about liaising with their GP and getting a referral to Neuropsychology. Your partner may be able to access it via a community rehabilitation centre given the stroke is quite recent.

A Neuropsychologist works with survivors of stroke who are having trouble with memory, thinking or behavioural problems. They can explain how stroke affects behaviour and potentially advise strategies that can help you both. They may also team up with an occupational therapist to develop practical strategies.  

Call StrokeLine

We encourage you to call us on StrokeLine 1800 787 653. Our team is made up nursing and allied health professionals with experience in stroke. We are here to listen to and support you.

We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm AET.