Hello Sue,
Thank you for reaching out on EnableMe. We are so sorry to hear all that has happened to you in the last 6 months. It is very brave and strong of you to reach out on EnableMe, and I am sure that others will know what you are going through and reach out.
You are certainly not stupid, nor dumb and now you are not alone. Having a stroke is a major life event and without support it can be very frightening and isolating. No one is prepared for a stroke, and it happens in an instant. Without support it be really difficult to know where to go and who to turn to. We are glad that you reached out to us here on Ask a Health Professional, and I hope the stroke community can further provide support as well. Please also reach out to us on StrokeLine at 1800 787 653 and we can help you find the right support and talk with you about everything you have been through.
Being discharged from hospital with no support is very difficult. There are supports out there Sue, so if you need rehabilitation in addition to some support for your emotions and personality changes, StrokeLine can help you to find them. Again, going and talking with your Gp can be a good first step.
Changes in your emotions and to your personality are common after stroke. It is very normal to experience strong emotions after stroke, however these emotional reactions usually get better with time.
Have you spoken with your GP Sue? This would be a good first place to start. They may be able to provide a referral to a psychologist or counsellor. You may be eligible for a Mental Health Treatment Plan which lets you claim several sessions with a mental health professional each calendar year. To start with, your doctor should refer you for up to 6 sessions at a time. If you need more, they can refer you for further sessions.
Given how you are feeling, you may also want to reach out to these other services if you need someone to speak to urgently:
What you are going through is not your fault. You have experienced a brain injury, which can affect your emotions, your ability to control and manage your emotions. This can often present as increased frustration or anger, or getting more upset and angrier than usual.
If you wanted to share information with your husband, you may also find information regarding anger after a brain injury or stroke through Synapse here: Anger - Synapse. A brain injury can damage areas of the brain involved in the control and regulation of emotions, particularly the frontal lobe and limbic system. Other effects of a brain injury can lead to irritability, agitation, lowered tolerance and impulsivity, which also increase the likelihood of angry outbursts. Recognising your triggers is an important step as you can then avoid situations or better prepare yourself with anger management strategies.
While everyone feels anxious from time to time, for some people these anxious feelings are overwhelming and not easily controlled. Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed, it’s a serious condition that makes it hard to cope with daily life.
Do reach out to your Gp and take that first step to getting help. They may talk with you about medications, or a referral to a psychologist who can help you, and your husband if appropriate, manage these new emotions and feelings. You may also be interested a little down the track in relationship counselling. Relationship counselling can help with managing difficulties with communication in relationships and finding a way to understand what is going on for your partner.
There are some wonderful resources here on enable that might be helpful for both you and your partner. You might like to look at Emotions | enableme - stroke recovery and support and Personality changes | enableme - stroke recovery and support, Depression and anxiety after stroke… | Stroke Foundation - Australia
If you need more support or information, please do not hesitate to give us a call on StrokeLine 1800 787 653 or email strokeline@strokefoundation.org.au. We are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm AEDT and would be more than happy to talk with you.
Kind regards,
Siobhan (StrokeLine)
Hello Sue. I had a stroke 3 years ago and I had similar feelings. I didn’t feel connected to anyone. I called it my emotionally roller coaster. My family members were thoughtful but they didn’t know how to help me. I wanted to get better. I do hope you have been able to find a speech pathologist to help you. I also use apps on my iPad (tablet) and I can see some small improvements in the levels.
Do you have a friend who can go out with you even for a walk or to have coffee with etc? The way you feel now, is not you. It’s the stroke damage.
A year ago our son said, “Mum, each time I visit you, (6 months because we live interstate) you’re a bit more connected “. I realised that I am getting just a little bit better. That really did help me because I don’t see it otherwise.
I still have issues and I get upset. I see a psychologist because I had depression and anxiety. That has been very helpful. Right now you probably can’t see your progress, but it is happening.
Bit by bit, it will slowly improve. Be kind mentally to yourself. Look back in 6 months and see your progress. This is all in hindsight but I wish someone could have kept on telling me that it will get better. Not perfect but better.
Jeanette
Hi Sue,
It saddened me to hear about how you are feeling.
I had my stroke 3 and a half years ago and still in recovery, my best advice is time, it all takes time.
Synapse was a great support network for me, and it aided in my mental health, meeting up with them at their monthly get togethers. This allowed me to discuss how I was feeling and also highlighted that I am not alone, and what I was feeling others felt too.
This is not only a difficult time but also a time of new experiences. Take care and remember you are not alone.
Cheers Donna
Hi Sue,
Do you have problems with language after your stroke (aphasia?)
You might find an aphasia group nearby under the groups tab on the aphasia community website.
Sending hugs and thoughts and prayers your way. xx
I'd recommend looking for a stroke survivor or acquired brain injury group you can join. It's so good to spend time with people who know exactly what you are going through.
I'm the mum of a stroke survivor. I've also gone to lots of carer's courses and groups. Do you think your husband would be willing to go to something like this?
No follow up and no support from anyone, just trying to middle through alone and hope it works out
Why feel stupid , your alive aren't you , and some fellow Stroke victim end up in a age care home , thing is you are still alive , and have a long rough road ahead of you , Doctor's show no compactions , and dump you out for the next patient , that's how it is , Hard part is you have to get going again and try to get well , older people try to help you , and don't refuse any help .